Causes of bad luck in a person's life. Seven Reasons for Failure. What to do, how to regain self-confidence and not deny yourself

Every failure makes us stronger, wiser and more experienced. Here are the most common problems that lead to failures and how to solve them.

1. Lack of persistence

Most people fail not because they lack knowledge or talent, but because they give up. On the way to the goal, two words are important: perseverance and resistance. Insist on what needs to be done and resist what should not be done.

Try new approaches. Persistence is important, but repeating the same actions over and over again may not lead you to the goal. Evaluate your previous attempts and decide what needs to be changed.

2. Lack of confidence

People who lack confidence often don't follow through. They lack courage and perseverance. And they are content with little, so as not to stand out.

Determine what is important to you. If you decide that something needs to be done, do it well. Completely surrender to the performance of any, even the most routine tasks. On the path to success, it is useful to cooperate and unite, but you should not compromise on any issue.

3. Excuses

Winners analyze the reasons for failure rather than looking for excuses. Losers, on the other hand, like to come up with different excuses for not being successful.

Change your attitude towards failure. Few people succeed on the first try. Most get a positive result only after numerous attempts. It didn't work - try to figure out why it happened.

4. Analysis of past mistakes

Some live and study, others just live. Failure is a great teacher, the main thing is to treat it correctly. Wise people take advantage of mistakes and call their failures experience. Define the problem clearly. Analyze the situation: what you wanted to achieve, what was the strategy and why it did not work.

5. Weak discipline

No great achievement has come about without strict discipline. True discipline is when a person has self-control, does not give in to temptations, ignores distractions and is ready to make sacrifices. Discipline is about keeping focus.

At the same time, discipline is not synonymous with perfectionism. If you idealize your future success, your motivation is high, but your expectations are far from reality. In addition, the successful achievement of one goal does not guarantee the solution of all problems. Decide what result you want, but don't try to be perfect.

6. Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem is a lack of self-respect and a lack of understanding of one's own worth. Insecure people are constantly trying to find themselves instead of becoming who they want to be.

Don't label yourself. You may have failed. But you will not become a loser until you stop trying to achieve what you want. Think of yourself as a person who strives for a goal, and this will help you maintain patience and endurance for the long term.

7. Fatalism

Fatalism prevents people from taking responsibility for what happens in their lives. They believe that success and failure are a matter of chance. They submit to fate and do not make efforts to achieve the goal, because they are sure that what should happen will happen anyway.

Every day, in front of the mirror, repeat the phrase: “It all depends on me.” It may not be entirely true, but we can control more than we think.

When we set goals for ourselves, we must remember that we ourselves decide whether we will be successful and happy or not. The height we can climb depends on our attitude.

A lot of people complain, and a lot of people consider themselves classic losers for no reason. Failures are indeed companions of most people, to one degree or another, however, far from everyone considers themselves to be failures - a different attitude towards failures leads to the fact that the quality of life is very different - sometimes it is diametrically opposed.

Psychologists are in great demand today, and they often do extensive research, trying to understand the causes of failure, as well as find ways to get rid of them, available to a wide range of people - most often this is done in the Western world. As a result of one of these studies, conclusions were drawn - we will briefly describe them here.

Causes of failure in life

Very often, people put off new beginnings, hoping that they can start at any moment, and as a result, they just can't do it. When they do start something, they discover that they are sorely lacking in strength of character, they quit what they started and are disappointed in themselves and their abilities - of course, they “successfully” write themselves down as losers. There is no need to hope that you have enough determination and firmness to start at any moment: start now - the one who has the will does not hesitate, but acts.

The next reason for failure in life is an overestimation of one's strengths. and opportunities at the moment. Of course, a person can achieve whatever he wants in life, but, as a rule, people come to big goals gradually: first, you need to set small goals, then more serious ones, and only then - large and large-scale ones. If you immediately set a big goal without having enough experience and perseverance (not to be confused with stubbornness!), And rush towards it headlong, then most likely you will crash - and again sign up as losers, or you will “depart” for a long time from serious shocks.

A very gross mistake is to continue to do the same thing that you have always done and communicate with the same people who have always surrounded us. Think about it: if, by acting and communicating in this way, we have achieved what we have today, and these results do not please us, is it worth continuing in the same spirit and further? You need to change the environment, and stop doing only those things that you have always done: start thinking and acting in a new way, even if you are uncomfortable, and do not set yourself up for failure in advance - just move towards the goal without evaluating yourself, and then you will have a lot it will start to happen on its own.

The next common reason for failure is the wrong motivation.. Most people know exactly what they want to get rid of, but have no idea what (and most importantly, why?) they want to achieve. As a result, people run away from problems, instead of striving to improve the quality of life - and it turns out that we have more of what we think about all the time and what we want to avoid by any means - that is, more problems. Don't think about what you want to avoid - think about what you want to get; do not throw all your strength into the fight against shortcomings and bad habits - improve your virtues, and consolidate good habits, and set an example for others.

Many people blame themselves for being inert, and in order to take action, they always need a stimulus. Unfortunately, this character trait is easily fixed, and it is difficult to get rid of it: such people need to be constantly urged on, or promised something in return for their actions - otherwise they see no reason to change anything in their lives. It is difficult to start big things, but you can always divide them into several small ones, and do them in turn - when the first positive results appear, there will also be an incentive to move forward.

An important point: most life situations always cause us the same reaction, throwing us back, and destroying everything that we achieve with such difficulty. For example, we agreed on an important meeting, on which (as we believe) success in some business depends, but the person did not come to it, and then refused to communicate with us on this topic at all. The reaction is usually standard: we begin to blame the person, and at the same time ourselves - for being "too trusting." Stop completely shifting responsibility for your failures to others, and do not react to events like Pavlov's dog - this makes life very difficult. Unlike animals, we have not only conditioned reflexes, but also consciousness, and we can decide for ourselves how to react to this or that situation - our success does not depend on the actions of the people around us, but on our reaction to them.

Another reason for frequent failures is the tendency to attach great importance to the possession of information and knowledge. There are many people who have a huge store of knowledge, but at the same time they do not succeed in any of the areas of life: neither in the personal sphere, nor in the field of health or career - having information without concrete action often leads to depression. Acquire knowledge gradually, and immediately use it by performing the simplest actions - this is how you begin to gain experience that can be invaluable.

Fuzzy and vague goal setting is the next reason for failure, and this mistake is also made by the vast majority of people. This is in the same field as the wrong motivation, and for sure everyone has heard such formulations: “I want a lot of money”, “I want to be healthy”, “I want to go somewhere”, or - (a classic example of “fuzziness”!) “I want normal life." Normal - what is it? Therefore, the results are more than blurry, or rather, none, and the person decides that his goals are unattainable and unrealistic. Set a small but clear goal: for example, drink a glass of fresh juice every morning, walk for at least an hour every day, and do it - so you understand that specificity is an important condition for success.

How to get rid of failures in life

You can list the reasons for the failures that haunt us for a long time, but most experts still single out exactly these, but we ourselves can learn to see what prevents us from living and being successful.

Learn to analyze events not from the point of view of your reflexes and habits, but from the position of an outside observer - this is not as difficult as it seems. Subjective opinion is a real brake if it stems from a negative perception of the situation: 99% of people will feel unhappy if they are not hired for a certain job or fired, and only 1% will see new and profitable opportunities in this - this very percentage and succeed in life no matter what.

Look at the world as wide as possible. If something bad happens to you, small or big, try to imagine that it could be worse, and do not consider yourself deeply offended and unhappy. Of course, most people, again, believe that there is nowhere worse, however, if you look at the situation a little wider, you can always find pluses. Think: even if a person’s house and all property burn down - the situation is more than unpleasant - it will not be a disaster if he and his loved ones remain alive and healthy - this is real luck. But it could have happened the other way...

Treat troubles and failures as learning: life (fate, reality, etc.) teaches us all the time, and we don’t want to learn lessons - we choose the wrong profession, try to build the wrong relationships, take the wrong position, and then We are offended that things are getting worse and worse. Lessons must be learned, and valuable experience must be learned from failures - of course, this is easier said than done, but we still have to try if we do not want to “walk in the losers” all our lives.

Learning from experience, however, does not mean that one should be afraid and afraid of everything new and unknown: the fear of failure can attract failure even when, in all respects, you should expect success, so being afraid - in the literal sense - is very unprofitable. Today, everyone is beginning to understand that thoughts are material, and the worst expectations come true much more often than optimistic ones - the fact is that we are simply used to waiting for tricks from fate.

Make a good habit: at the end of each day, whether you consider it successful or not, remember what happened good. There is no need to think in global categories: even if you were simply given a seat on the bus, or treated to a candy at work, remember this and thank your Guardian Angel (or the one in whose protection you believe).

Return to this habit again and again, and soon you will learn to see the good in what used to be troubles - and then any troubles will turn into unexpected good fortune for you.

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Answering the questions posed, you can write more than one huge work on the psychology of success, but you can also get by with only six points, realizing which, you get a chance not to give in to new fears. So, faced with a situation of choice, it is necessary first of all to block not only your fears, but also the ways of retreat. That is, to exclude the situation when you find an excuse for yourself under the influence of fear.

Here are the main "exculpatory" options.

1. Don't blame others. "I won't pass the exam because the teacher is too strict." You need to rely on your strengths, knowledge and skills.

2. It may seem too unrealistic, but many refuse obviously successful deeds, explaining this with magical powers. Damage, conspiracies, and so on should also be excluded from your arsenal of reasons for failure.

3. Success and confidence come to people who respect themselves, know their own worth and do not allow themselves to be imprinted with the seals of the past. That is, you should not think that your past sins can become the cause of your success or failure.

4. The so-called karmic myth, when you justify your fear with the total failures of your ancestors.

5. The stars and your astrological sign cannot be the cause of your failures either. This is just a reason you can comfort yourself.

Approaching the sixth point, it should be noted that the five that we have already considered are not so rare, and therefore deserve our attention, but mostly people who are more developed and independent use deeper and more conscious options for retreat.

6. We will divide this point into three more and call it conditionally psychoanalytic:

• we can attribute the likelihood of failure to a difficult childhood and wrong upbringing, bad relationships with parents;
• Today, many write that the course of a person's life is affected by the trauma he received at birth. We all go through a stressful journey at birth. This is comparable to trauma, which leaves an imprint on our behavior. And this is also very often used by people who are unsure of their actions;
• the presence of bad heredity and everything connected with it cannot affect your life. Provided that you know and are able to control it.

Manage your life consciously, do not let anything or anyone influence you, your decisions and steps. Always be collected and ready to solve tasks, answer questions and be able to ask them to yourself. All this will allow you to change your life for the better, and the exclusion of such possible causes of failure as those listed above will help you clearly and clearly understand the need for a particular decision. Using only logic and reason in making decisions, not hiding behind the possible causes of failure, not reassuring yourself with myths, you will achieve more.

“Trouble does not come alone” - I think many will agree with this saying. Indeed, it is worth a certain negative event to occur and it started like in a fairy tale: "The farther, the worse." It also happens that it seems that there is nowhere to “fall” lower, but no, an inventive life will come up with such a “juicy slap in the face” that you get into such a mess that the previous one will seem like just a childish failure.

So all the same, why does one grief cling to another, and then, in turn, the next, sometimes turning life into one continuous black streak?

Someone will say that karma is to blame, someone will attribute everything to damage, Zeland's supporters will say that this is all a matter of "pendulums", but a skeptic will say: "This is just an accident." And you know, maybe they are all partly right, no one knows the exact explanation, and all these points really work, especially if you believe in them.

• Believe me, a wise specialist in “slaps in the face” from life and all kinds of “black stripes” (as well as gray, black speckled, with circles and all other dark shades), and not just a home-grown amateur philosopher, but a practical one.

Well, and I had practice: “a wagon, yes a small cart”, judge for yourself:

Even as a child, I suffered 13 pneumonias (not counting other minor sores and illnesses later), the doctors almost killed me with their “experiments” (without the knowledge of my parents) and made me shy away from all people for a long time. Growing up, my pain went away, but my fears turned into complexes and phobias. Everything around seemed to be painted in dark colors, despite the many possible events, my body dulled not only the pain, but also the emotions.

As a child, carrying a glass of water and stepping over a drunken neighbor sleeping on the landing, I fell (since he began to toss and turn at that time), and I fell so that half of the broken glass stuck out in the center of my forehead.

So I became even more afraid of drunks

Despite the fact that my mother worked for one and a half rates, she took part-time work at home - there was always a lack of money. And my father often drank and was constantly on various journeys (sometimes for years), in search of either himself or just for fun. It seemed to me then that I live in some kind of constantly dark strip, which simply has no end. Negative events simply changed each other, and I got so used to all this that I began to perceive it all as a matter of course.

It was then that I first began to be interested in self-development, NLP, esotericism, then for the first time I began to think: why do some people succeed in everything, while others, well, nothing at all, despite the many efforts made for this. And you know, then I managed to get out of the series of “darkness” - I became a sociable, cheerful and quite optimistic young man, believing that life consists not only of black stripes, but also of bright joy, anticipation of good and of course love.

But in life everything is cyclical and the second blackening stripe, or rather, I learned my second life lesson after the army, when I was 25 years old. Then I was already married and my first son was already born.

Firstly, I then lost a lot of weight, and secondly, my mother fell ill with cancer and after a few months “burned out” in the disease, she died in my arms. A few months after the death of the mother, the father dies (blood clots in the carotid arteries). Between these events, my cousin's daughter dies (sudden death syndrome). Well, and finally, my wife and I are divorcing, and attacks from my wife begin on me about the parental apartment (she and the child were registered in the parental apartment).

This black streak lasted for several years without a gap, and sometimes it seemed to me that I would just go crazy. At that time I was simply sure that I had some kind of damage on me, and once having accidentally broken a mirror in the bathroom, I seriously thought that everything, probably, was the next one. I start running around grandmothers in the hope that the witching spell will be removed from me and all hardships will pass. As it turned out, nothing helped, and only faith in myself helped me, faith that God would not leave me, faith that everything would be fine and ……., but, STOP - all this deserves a separate story.

Only for the most impatient I will write about mine today:

Everything is fine with me, I have a small family: me, my wife (9 years younger than me) and my great joy is my seven-month-old son, Yaroslav. The eldest son (from his first marriage) will soon be 19 years old, he lives in another city, but he is happy to come to visit me and I love him very much.

At that time, it was not possible to defend the parental apartment in full, but I have my own, however, so far a small apartment (expansion of living space is in the nearest plans).

I work in a small furniture company as a deputy director, there is a lot of work, but I hope that there are even more prospects for the future. Despite all my busyness, sometimes I write to my blogs, with the hope that it may be useful to someone.

• Departing a little from the topic with a story about my life, I pursued the goal not to boast to you and show myself from the red side - take it away, I just wanted to say and show to all readers of my blog:

“There is nothing impossible in life - everything changes in it, because this is the basic law of physical matter. There is a place for everything in life: joy too, and no matter how hard it is for you today, remember: everything ends and the black streak too, but for how long it will drag on depends primarily on yourself. The world is not against you, it is neutral, but what color to paint it in is up to you. After all, the truth is that it is in your power to choose which thought or emotion you can support, and which one you try to dismiss as unnecessary?

Hell and heaven already exist within you - just choose what you support.

If you liked it, then read on, if not - well, I do not insist, everyone has their own truth, choose a different path - there are many of them.

Before the start of the main story, I will once again emphasize to you that I do not climb into the abstruse jungle of reasoning, I just write about my experience, about the conclusions that I have come to today, I will try to give you a “drop of confidence” in myself and describe to you those "gadgets" that work for me.

Axioms of light and dark stripes or a golden, striped tablet from Oleg Plett :

• M ir in relation to us is neutral.

He is neither evil nor kind, he absolutely does not give a damn about us, he is exactly the way we accepted him inside ourselves. The world around you is a reflection of your inner state.

• AT era is a very strong "genie" in our hands.

What to believe is up to you. You believe that everything will be fine - “according to your faith it will be for you”, you believe that life is a cruel “thing” - get your own, the law works in this case too. You sincerely believe that God and all the forces of light stand as a mountain for you - be sure that it is so.

• Love can do everything.

Love is not a selfish desire for possession, of course not. Love is the highest vibrational energy. Love does not seek or fawn, it is full and self-sufficient, it can turn any hell into a blooming paradise. Love is God loving no matter what. God forgives us not for our actions, he forgives us because he is God (love). The closest energy to true love is maternal love. The more love in your life, the brighter, better and smoother your life.

• P like attracts like.

Negative thoughts and emotions attract negative situations, which in turn give rise to new negative emotions - this is like a vicious circle, and if it is not interrupted, this can continue for a lifetime. Conversely, joyful emotions attract good events. The conclusion suggests itself.

• By changing our thoughts, emotions and beliefs, we change the course of our lives.

Filter every emotion and thought, choose only positive and correct ones, cultivate them in yourself.

• The feeling of guilt triggers the mechanism of punishment.

This is why confession is so important. Take your mistakes as important life lessons, and therefore, like any lesson, you need to learn it and understand the meaning of what you experienced. As soon as you realized your mistake, you turned the tide, you learned your lesson, and after that, have the strength to forgive yourself and others.

• Living in the present, you choose the best option possible.

I have talked about this more than once.

• There are no hopeless situations.

Closing one of the doors, God always opens another.

• Having made decisions, act.

You have an active always more chances than you have the same passive. So do not lie on the couch - act.

• Never do evil to another - evil kills.

Doing evil to another - you are doing badly, first of all, to yourself, whoever has come across this will understand me.

• Any change does not happen instantly - it takes time.

And this is good, otherwise if everything changed instantly, then we would have done something wrong. No need to complain that time goes by, but nothing changes, you just need to believe that happiness is inevitable.

But on this I consider the first part of the post on this topic closed, but on the next one, I propose to go to practical work.

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When everything falls out of hand, when money slips through your fingers, when a loved one betrays, and all this happens not in one day, but all the time, a logical question arises: “Why do I need all this?”.

Failures are sent in the name of certain goals. So that a person understands and realizes that his (or not his - but more on that later) actions are wrong. As a rule, we perceive bad luck as a punishment from heaven, we believe that we did not deserve everything that happened to us.

However, it is not. We are not given tests beyond our strength. And having passed them with dignity, you can find happiness, good luck, and blessings. But first you need to find out what is the cause of fatal bad luck. There are four in total.

The reasons for failures may lie in one of the past lives. Perhaps you have done something terrible, lived an unrighteous life, etc. But it may also be that you had to pay for the sins of your ancestors.

And it is not necessary that they behaved inappropriately in a past life. For example, a grandmother or father cursed, envied, humiliated someone, or maybe they stole something. What to do with it, we will analyze below. To begin with, we will determine the signs of a karmic predisposition to failure.

1. You and your family members have similar problems. For example, all relatives suffered from the same diseases.
2. When someone close has minor troubles, you experience a whole bunch of negative emotions - anger, longing, hatred, etc.
3. The harder you try to overcome bad luck, the worse it gets. For example, you work three jobs to pay off a debt. But it makes no sense.
4. You are unable to accept help. In the sense that if someone volunteered to help you (no matter what business), everything turns out badly.
5. You have a feeling that no one is to blame for your failures.
6. Your thoughts are focused on failure

If three or more signs matched for you, it means that the reason for bad luck lies in karmic debt.

As a rule, during the life of a person, it is given automatically, as if a monthly payment was deducted from you. But you can pay off your karmic debts faster if you visit the graves of all your ancestors, clean up there and ask the Higher Powers for forgiveness for all the sins that you and your relatives have committed.

After that, you need to get out of the abandoned graves, which are located nearby. This is how you perform a righteous deed that cleanses all energy dirt. And the more often you practice this, the faster you will forget about total bad luck.

It is very easy to jinx yourself. It is enough to boast of something - and that's all, write wasted. It's one thing if you tell your loved one some good news, for example, that you bought a car. And another thing, if you repeat to everyone and everyone what a fine fellow you are, you have a car, and not just any, but the best.

That is, when you brag, you think something like this: “Ha, bite it, losers!” This is especially true of those people who achieve goals in order to rub someone's nose.

And then they wonder - why is everything going awry? The self-evil eye always manifests itself at the physical level, and it can be identified by 5 signs:

1. frequent mood swings;
2. enrages every little thing;
3. constant fatigue, apathy;
4. deterioration of attention and memory;
5. exacerbation of diseases.

You need to eliminate self-evil with the help of a special technique. Lie down, relax and remember how you feel when you boast to someone. Satisfaction? Feeling of superiority?

Try to mentally arrange all the emotions in a tight ball. Imagine that a portal has opened in the sky above you. Launch your "ball" there, close the portal.

Repeat the exercise as often as possible, and you will see how, firstly, it has become easier for you to live. And secondly - that failures gradually leave you.

We all know that thought is material. The way we set ourselves up, the way we think - that's what we get. If something like “I can’t do it”, “We didn’t live richly, there’s nothing to start”, “Who will love me like that”, etc. is constantly spinning in your head, then you shouldn’t be surprised why everyone lives well, but you are not.

As soon as you have a negative thought, immediately change it to a positive one. For example: “This is a trifling matter for me!”, “I am healthy and beautiful!”, “I will definitely buy it!” A week of such thoughts - and the world will sparkle with new colors!

Any magical effect is aimed at something specific. For example, to take away health, happiness, good luck. There are certain signs by which you can understand that luck was taken from you with the help of magic:

• In a short time, you lost everything at once - work, savings, friends, etc.
• There are bad habits.
• There were fears that weren't there.
• There is a wall between you and the world.
• Whatever you do is all in vain.
• You are tormented by bad dreams.

If all the points matched, you have a negative. You need to remove it in three stages. The first - drink water for 40 days, saying: “The damage will be washed off from me, it won’t come back, it will disappear behind seven swamps, and it will leave me. Amen".

Second phase. Put a fresh egg under your bed for 3 days. Break up and flush down the toilet. It takes 9 days to clean with an egg.

And the third stage is the restoration of positive energy. Do something good for 21 days.