What is love from the scientific side? What is “love” from a scientific point of view. Unhappy love leads to depression

home Man in many of his manifestations is an irrational being, especially when it comes to emotions and feelings: sometimes they are not so easy to justify from a logical point of view. If we talk about this complex phenomenon

, like love - here the law of cause and effect completely stops working, because the state of love is too complex and multifaceted to be disassembled, as they say, “brick by brick.” However, experts continue to try to explain love passion chemical reactions , animal instincts or, say, social laws. The following are eight sayings by scientists

, in which they set out their vision of love.

1. “Love is like thirst,” - Lucy Brown, a neurologist from the College of Medicine. A. Einstein, New York, NY

The experience of a lover is similar to the feeling of thirst, which can only be quenched by the presence of the object of passion. All thoughts, actions, aspirations - everything suddenly obeys the desire to be close to your lover (or beloved). Of course, everyone has their own temperament, and everyone expresses romantic feelings differently, but any person, when falling in love, experiences a state similar to euphoria, and it occurs only in the presence of the “other half.”

After studying the brain activity of several pairs of lovers using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), we came to the conclusion that when lovers are together or think about each other, they activate areas of the brain that are also responsible for the feeling of joy from any reward or recognition, and in strength this feeling is quite comparable to thirst or hunger. We can say that falling in love is part of the reproductive mechanism inherent in us by nature itself: it contributes to the establishment of strong emotional connections between sexual partners and thus increases the chances of having children.

Love comes in different forms, but I think we can distinguish three main types: sexual attraction, falling in love and deep affection. My colleagues and I have been studying the functioning of the brain of lovers for a long time; one of our experiments involved 60 men and women aged 18 to 57 years, whom we examined using MRI, analyzing the main manifestations of romantic feelings.

The first thing a person begins to experience when he falls in love is a certain feeling of “specialness” and “uniqueness” of everything connected with the object of love - his (or her) clothes, car, street, whatever. The lover begins to focus on his passion in everything: he mopes when he (she) does not call and “glows” with happiness when the relationship improves.

The state of falling in love is also characterized by a rapid heartbeat, increased sweating and a physiological state that is also called “butterflies in the stomach.” This is due to an increase in the production of the hormone dopamine, which causes delight in a person, a surge of energy and encourages action - these sensations can be compared to the fact that someone who has settled right in the head constantly calls on him to run somewhere, take action, and all for the sake of the three most main words: “I love you.”

I believe that love serves for more reliable reproduction of descendants: it forces us to focus all our attention on one partner and not to be scattered among casual sexual relationships.

3. “Love as a building material,” - Daniel Kruger, psychologist at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, Michigan

Love is positive experience, which contributes to the establishment of stable social connections and the formation of stable relationships and, as a result, facilitates the creation of a family as a fundamental unit of society. Without it, we would more often act solely out of our own short-term selfish motives and considerations of personal gain, which would inevitably affect the situation in society.

The feelings we have for our loved ones strengthen long term relationship, which in turn has a positive effect on the birth of socially protected children. Love allows people to take care of their offspring until they become independent, and this, it seems to me, is its main socially significant function.

4. “Love is expressed in the persistent desire to care,” - David Givens, director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies, Spokane, Washington

First of all, love is an emotion, a feeling of affection and devotion that a person feels towards someone or something. An ardent passion may be stronger than, for example, love for family members or even one’s own children, or it can only be expressed in sexual desire.

Love originates in the same part of the brain as maternal affection, the desire to care for offspring, so I believe that it developed precisely from the maternal instinct. The fact that lovers feel the need to look after each other, help and support each other in everything confirms this.

5. “Love is sex,” Luis Garcia, professor of psychology at Rutgers University

Science knows a lot of evidence that sexuality plays a very important role in relationships. important role. A number of studies suggest that satisfaction with intimate life directly affects, for example, general impressions from marriage, in addition, according to the results of our experiments, a person who lives a full sex life, has a greater chance of finding long-term and fruitful relationships.

Together with my colleague, Dr. Charlotte Markey, we interviewed several couples who had lived together for quite a long time - in civil marriage or registered, it doesn’t matter. It turned out that one of the main incentives for living together was their sexual attraction to each other. Also, rich sexual experience has a positive effect on intimate life, and therefore on feelings, and if the partners have approximately the same experience, their union has every chance of being happy for many years.

6. “Love is unthinkable without respect,” - Kate Wax, psychologist, author of Relationships for Dummies

There is no love without mutual respect and trust. Lovers try to prove themselves with the best side Therefore, successful relationships always consist of honesty, loyalty, emotional support and self-sacrifice. Love gives everyone a sense of their uniqueness and makes them accept the uniqueness of the other: everyone believes that if his partner feels good with him, it is necessary to take measures so as not to destroy the fragile balance. Therefore any loving person strives to defend the interests of his “other half” and satisfy her needs.

I believe that the opposite feeling of love is not hatred, but indifference: if you stop worrying about a person and don’t feel the need to take care of him, this indicates a loss of respect, which means there can be no talk of love.

7. “Love is a long-term relationship,” - Stephanie Ortigue, neuroscientist at Syracuse University, Syracuse, New York

Everyone knows what love is, but no one can give a clear, agreed upon definition. In my interpretation, I use the results of my psychological research and neuroimaging of the brain function of lovers. In my opinion, love is a complex positive and motivating mental condition characterized by a desire for unity with a certain person. This condition involves a number of chemical, emotional and cognitive processes.

If, when communicating with a partner, the activity of certain areas of neurons is observed, this indicates the presence of love, and we do not know any evidence that love cannot last for any length of time, but the problem is that it is influenced by too many factors, the change of which is sometimes impossible to predict . However, if we consider love as an established affectionate attitude towards someone, this definition includes such types of love as maternal and paternal love, the love of children for parents and love between sexual partners.

8. “Love as a historical constant,” Stephanie Koontz, historian at Evergreen State College, Olympia, Washington

People have been falling in love with each other throughout history, but ardent romantic feelings until relatively recently were not considered a worthy basis for a relationship, much less marriage. The majority got married in obedience to the will of their parents, who, as a rule, took into account only mercantile considerations when choosing a life partner for their son or daughter.

The situation began to change in the 19th century - love began to play family relationships much more significant role. People had to re-realize that they were attracted to the opposite sex and recognize that love must be at the core of any successful marriage. I believe that in our time, spouses and lovers should experience not only love passion for each other, but also friendly feelings. The combination of love and friendship will provide partners with a long, happy and fruitful relationship.

A beautiful feeling that drives people, forcing them to do crazy things. Because of him, a lot happened in the history of mankind, even to the point that wars broke out between countries. It would seem a completely unearthly feeling that makes people flutter like butterflies, exalts them to the skies, giving them a feeling of happiness and extraordinary joy. But a new view of love appeared from the point of view of chemistry.

Helen Fisher proved that all emotional processes occurring in the human body have a scientific explanation

To do this, Helen Fisher, an American scientist working in the field of anthropology, used brain scanning techniques. Based on the results of the experiments, she was able to find out which areas of the brain are responsible for the feeling of love. The chemistry of love, it turns out, lies in the fact that the brain produces a certain substance that makes a person feel emotional uplift, well-being and an increase in the level of arousal. This substance is called dopamine.

The scientific version explains the process of love, which consists of three stages.

The first stage can be called falling in love or, in other words, ordinary lust

At this time, we are driven by sex hormones - estrogen and testosterone, they influence our desires associated with the object of desire: the desire to see each other more often, for example.

We lose appetite, sleep, when we see our lover we begin to get nervous, our palms sweat, our breathing quickens. From a scientific point of view, the chemistry of love at this stage occurs as follows - the hormones that are produced at the sight of the object of desire provoke the brain to produce the substances norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine. The first two make you worry, the last one brings an incredible feeling of happiness.

Chocolate as a means of replenishing serotonin

It’s interesting that serotonin can be found in small doses in foods such as strawberries and chocolate - it’s not without reason that they say they contain it. Surely almost everyone has a girlfriend or friend who cannot live a day without chocolate. They can be called "love addicts." Such people most often need feelings from first meetings, which are the strongest, brightest and most memorable, which bring a high level of production of joy and pleasure in the form of dopamine.

The second stage can be called attachment

Thus, active and expressive love is replaced by something calmer and more peaceful. The chemistry of love at this stage lies in other hormones - oxytocin and vasopressin.

The first hormone is very specific; its presence is “noted” during contractions during childbirth, and it is also actively released during orgasm. This hormone is responsible for cementing the mutual bond between lovers, and the number of orgasms between them further cements this bond.

Vasopressin is a hormone that regulates monogamy. Experiments were conducted that proved that an artificially suppressed amount of the hormone in a man’s body leads to him quickly losing interest in his partner. That is, the fact that the stronger sex runs after every skirt can be explained with scientific point vision - they may not have enough of the hormone vasopressin.

This is the chemistry of love, the scientific view of it in the first two stages.

There is also another stage, which is choosing a partner

On a subconscious level, we strive to find a partner with whom productive and high-quality reproduction of offspring is possible. To do this, the partner must be strong and healthy, with a strong immune system. Thanks to this stage, perfumes with pheromones gained popularity, since all these health data are transmitted through smell. In mammals, this scent helps to find the strongest male; in humans, this process occurs in a similar way, but this is not so noticeable in the human environment, since in addition to what smell an individual has, a man or woman is guided by many factors in choosing his mate. It’s only in the name of love that “cheating” has become available in stores.

Perfumes with pheromones replace their own, less powerful scent with a scent that is more acceptable and interesting to the object of adoration, promising that this will help “pocket” this person for a long time.

How long does this love-chemistry last?

Professor Fisher explained not only why love is chemistry, she also found out how long such love lasts on average. The substance dopamine is produced in the body from 18 months to 3 years. Hence the expression “love lasts no longer than three years.” Should we be afraid of this? On the contrary, you should be wary if feelings of love last longer than this period. The process of how the chemistry of love occurs is intelligently calculated by nature. If the hormone dopamine is produced longer than it is necessary to establish a strong connection between two people, the person may begin to go crazy under the influence of the hormone. People in love do not pay attention to what is happening around them if they are under the influence of the chemistry of love enough for a long time. You will not be able to work fully or concentrate on household chores. Vivid passionate feelings should be replaced by a feeling of deep affection and confidence in the relationship with your partner. In order to again feel all the brightness of the sensations that occur during the production of dopamine, it is not necessary to run to a new girl or guy. It is enough to arrange rare but wonderful romantic moments with your partner. For example, suddenly calling your beloved to a restaurant. Or arrange some romantic evening.

The novelty of sensations (maybe not so new, but already a little forgotten) provokes the production of dopamine and the consolidation of your relationship.

Negative effect

It doesn’t matter what sciences underlie this feeling - physics or chemistry. Love can feel like something strong, powerful, giving a positive charge of emotions. But with the same probability, love can affect a person negatively. Especially if the person to whom all a person’s energy is directed does not reciprocate. Essentially, the production of dopamine leads to the fact that you want to be with a person, but a similar process does not occur for him. The constant stimulation of the sensations caused by the hormone is mixed with the understanding that the desired partner does not experience similar feelings for you.

Fisher herself came to the conclusion that love is a kind of Only this drug is a completely legal chemistry of the body - “love”, and is produced by the body itself. All that is needed to produce this drug is to find suitable partner, which by its actions can cause a response from the hormonal system.

This is the formula of love. Chemistry provides an explanation that is not yet fully accepted by society. It's hard to believe that such a high feeling is just a reaction of chemical elements in the body. But the ability to feel love does not end there.

Scientists have come to disappointing conclusions regarding children who are deprived of contact with their parents in the first year of life.

Studies have been conducted that have shown that the first months of life are especially important for a person to later have the ability to fully communicate, love, make friends and show ability to others social connections. Neuropeptides are responsible for this - hormones that act as signal substances so that upon contact with a loved one, the concentration of chemical elements in the blood and cerebrospinal fluid increases, which make the body experience joy and pleasure from communication. If this system was not initially established, even the mental understanding of how good a person is and how many wonderful things he has done for you will not be perceived at the level of a physiological reaction. These hormones have already been mentioned earlier: oxytocin and vasopressin. The experiment was carried out with the participation of eighteen children who, unfortunately, were in an orphanage at a very early age, although they later ended up in prosperous families, as well as children who were with their parents from birth.

What were the results

The results showed that vasopressin was present in a significantly lower dose in children from orphanages. The following experiment was conducted on oxytocin. Measurements of this substance before the experiment showed that its level was approximately the same in both groups. During the process, the children had to play computer game sitting first on the lap of the mother (natural or adopted), and then on the lap of a stranger. Children who sat on their laps dear mother, oxytocin levels increased; when passing the game with unknown woman this didn't happen. And for former orphans, oxytocin remained in the same amount in both the first and second cases. These results were given opportunity for scientists to say that, apparently, the ability to rejoice in the fact that you communicate with a person close to you is still formed precisely in the first months of life. And sad as it may be, children who are deprived of contact with their parents in the first months of their existence after birth may have mental and physical problems. socially. The chemistry of love lies not only in the fact that the body must develop a certain system of reactions, but also in the fact that the adjustment of this system must occur as early as possible, at the very initial stages life.

No one can teach you to love a person the way your own mother can do.

Love from a scientific point of view

You meet the one or the one with whom you want to spend your whole life. At the same time, you are absolutely convinced that love like yours simply does not exist in the world. But, as experts say, if relationships between lovers develop differently, then the motivating feeling that couples in love create is always the same. And this feeling is regulated by factors beyond a person’s control. This can be called the chemical basis of physical attraction.

Recently, scientists discovered that humans have an organ located on the nasal septum that detects the presence of pheromones, i.e., the smell of a potential partner. Previously, scientists believed that this organ functions only in lower mammals, but not in humans.

Dogs, rats, mice, anyone - everyone has this organ. And if its functions are disrupted before puberty, then the animal stops searching for a partner, and the element of sexual desire disappears. The same can be experienced by a person with impaired functioning of this organ.

If a person sees and hears someone whom he finds attractive, his organs pick up that person's pheromones, which triggers a series of biochemical processes. This complex of irritants can lead to the body releasing various chemical substances and hormones that cause certain feelings and experiences in a person. Experiments with mammals have shown that even the anticipation of sexual activity can cause the release of various neurotransmitters in the affected areas of the brain.

In other words, the process of courtship, and then sexual intercourse, causes the release of chemicals into the brain, which allows you to experience pleasant feelings. Therefore, the individual, wanting to repeat these sensations, continues this ritual. While people have different ideas about the ideal partner, research shows that men and women generally strive to find the same qualities: kindness, intelligence, reliability and mutual love.

But there are also differences based on gender, found in a study that interviewed about 10 thousand people from 37 countries.

The conclusion is that women everywhere dream of finding a man of means and social status who is ambitious, hardworking and older in age. Men, as a rule, value only two things - external attractiveness and, mainly, young age.

Psychologists explain that such preferences reflect the process of evolution. Procreation is the basis of a man’s attraction to a young beautiful woman. The woman strives to find a man who will provide for her and her children and will not leave them.

Does all this mean that people are slaves to biological forces that are beyond their control? Scientists believe that this is not at all necessary. You cannot control the psychological process when you are attracted to someone. It is extremely difficult to manipulate or interfere with this process. But what you can control through the enormous flexibility that humans are endowed with is your actions. Our desires are incredibly complex. We look for intelligence, kindness, trust, a sense of humor, certain personality and physical features. The individual can make a choice and determine which of these desires he gives preference to.

Now be honest - do you often think about serious things, such as marital relationships? Perhaps, suddenly you realize: “something is wrong,” some changes have occurred. But which ones? If you want to test yourself, answer our questions - you and your husband. And then compare the results.

Marital relations. Test

1. If you had the opportunity to choose your life partner again, would it be him again?

A. In no case.

B. I would have to think seriously.

V. Only him.

2. Do you like meeting new people or do you prefer old friends?

A. I like old friends better.

B. I am attracted to new acquaintances and new people.

Q. Sometimes a little change won't hurt.

3. Which of you is more involved in the family?

A. My husband.

B. Naturally, I am.

V. I do not give my homework no meaning.

4. What is your opinion about money?

A. This is the most important question; unfortunately, there are never enough of them.

B. Their lack can also threaten good marital relationships.

V. This is not the main thing, but without them everything is not so simple.

5. How do you think your husband appreciates you?

B. More gratitude would not have hurt me.

Q. Do I appreciate him?

6. Does your husband pay attention to your appearance?

A. He will always find some flaw in me.

B. He doesn’t care what I wear or what I look like.

B. Will always show interest.

7. Are you satisfied with the way your household is being run?

A. So-so.

Q. You can’t call it a farm.

8. What is the relationship between you and your husband's parents?

A. I try to avoid them.

B. I treat them with respect.

Q. I love them.

9. Do you enjoy spending holidays with your family?

A. I can’t imagine anything else.

B. I don't care.

V. No, it's very boring.

10. Do you strive to improve and decorate your home?

A. I have other, more important concerns.

B. Yes, whenever possible.

Q. Sometimes I remember this.

Let's sum it up(see table).

21-30 points. Apparently, there is something wrong with your marriage. As it appears, living together being with you is difficult and unenviable. And will your husband's (or wife's) patience ever run out?

15-20 points. In general, you have normal relationships in your family, even a little cool. Sometimes some tension in relationships ultimately only strengthens the family, but try not to abuse it if possible.

14 or less points. Your marriage looks unrealistically perfect. You read each other's desires and thoughts in their eyes. But... Complete perfection can become boring over time. Do you think some change in life would hurt you?

Shaw was just joking. Test

“It’s stupid to get married, and not to get married is even stupider,” famous playwright Bernard Shaw joked about marriage. Well, if you have been “in a relationship” for a long time, how strong is your union? Take turns answering the test questions with your spouse. Before you check the results, take note of who volunteered to answer first. If the husband, then he is the real head of the family, if the wife, draw conclusions:

1. Can you say that you feel calm and comfortable at home?

2. Do thoughts about divorce ever cross your mind?

A. No, never.

B. Yes, quite often.

3. Can we say that you have a friendly family?

4. If it were possible to return the past?..

A. I would choose the same person as my wife (husband).

B. I would choose another person or not marry at all.

5. Have you ever had conflicts that had serious and lasting consequences for the family (the departure of one of the spouses, etc.)?

A. Never happened.

B. Anything has happened.

6. Does it ever happen that you don’t want to come home after work?

A. Yes, often.

B. Almost never.

7. Can we say that you always agree with each other in assessing your friends?

8. How often do you have disagreements about what kind of relationship to maintain with relatives?

A. Very often.

B. Almost never.

9. Do you want to go somewhere for a long time?

A. No, I don’t want to.

B. Yes, I would like to.

10. Do you often show tenderness and affection towards your wife (husband)?

A. Almost never.

B. Quite often.

11. Does your wife (husband) often show tenderness and affection towards you?

B. Very rarely.

12. Does it happen that you get on each other’s nerves? A. Never happens.

B. Almost always.

13. How often do you disagree with each other about when and what to spend money on?

A. Very often.

B. Almost never.

14. How often are you dissatisfied with the way your wife (husband) performs her household duties?

A. This almost never happens.

B. Almost always.

15. How do you rate your marriage?

A. Unhappy.

B. Happy.

6. Do you like spending time together?

A. I like it.

B. I don’t like it.

7. How has your attitude towards your spouse changed during your married life?

A. Improved.

B. Worsened.

Now everyone add up the amount of points you earned.

0-5 points. You (your spouse) are not satisfied with your marriage. The thought of divorce has probably crossed your mind more than once (“getting married is stupid…”). If your partner scored the same number of points as you, you are doing poorly. However, there is no need to rush to the registry office. After all, a stamp in a passport is a convention. Divorce symbolically, for a while. Let one of you live with your parents, friends or acquaintances for a while. If you love each other, the result will exceed all expectations, and you will both understand a lot about yourself.

6-12 points. You are not completely satisfied with your married life. Maybe the reason for the conflicts that arise lies in one of you. Check whether you both scored points within this “fork”. For example, you have 10 points, and your wife has 15. She is happy with everything, but you suffer. And in this case, it is she who needs to understand real reasons your dissatisfaction, otherwise the euphoria will wear off and the marriage will suffer.

13-17 points. If you are both in this “fork”, then you are happy and will do without outside advice. Congratulations to you! In the end, Bernard Shaw was just joking.

Getting married is a simple matter. Test

Modern women approach the problem of marriage philosophically: “If you want to get married, don’t look for a modern man. It’s much easier to find just a man.”

It is known that advice that confirms one’s own choice is preferable, especially if it concerns a future life partner. But before you make your final choice, you need to take a closer look at your chosen one.

How to determine which man in your life will always be good for you, and which will only be torment? First you need to strive to notice everything.

If you don’t like something in the character of your chosen one, don’t even think about changing him - it will be worse for you.

We offer for analysis several of the most common types of behavior in men.

Depressed. This is more likely not a type, but a transitional state. If you decide to date a man who recently went through a divorce, broke up with another woman, or had any other troubles, then you must be prepared for the fact that at any moment he may lose his temper over a trifle.

If you like this man and you are ready to listen to his endless monologues and reasoning about what happened, there is no need to abandon him. But you don’t have to spend all your free time with him.

Business. He considers himself strong and almost omnipotent because he can book a table in a restaurant and arrange a meeting with the right people. He is self-confident and strives to dominate in everything. His approach to a woman is only one: either you accept me as I am, or we break up. He will have the final say in everything - how to raise children, where to spend vacations, when to invite guests, etc. You can feel confident next to him, as long as his business is going well. At the first failure, he can turn into a depressed and unconfident person.

However, you may be afraid that this business person will begin to treat you as his successful “acquisition.”

Excellent student. This type strives to bring everything to perfection. If he is accidentally brought into a dating agency, he will present a whole list of qualities that his chosen one should have. He often tries to change his hairstyle, clothes, and even the tastes of the woman he meets in accordance with his tastes. Usually she should be much younger than him and as compliant as she is kind. A woman should date an Excellent Man only if she actually sees him as a model and example to follow.

The main danger, however, lies in the fact that when Pygmalion perfects his Galatea, he begins to look for a new object...

Dreamer. This is a man whose plans are loosely connected with reality. In his Everyday life there is always some project that falls apart before the Dreamer even gets around to implementing it. A dreamer is not difficult to recognize: he changes one job after another and cannot work with anyone. He dreams of changing the world, but in everyday life he is not even able to receive guests normally.

But despite all this, this is not the worst option for marriage for a woman who herself has clear goals in life and is ready to take the family into her own hands.

Single. Imagine a calm person who likes to be alone for long periods of time. Many of them are nice, friendly people, but to feel good, they need to spend as much time without you as with you. Some of them simply do not like noisy companies, they do not like empty chatter. Singles are suitable for women who are not offended by their “withdrawal” and the fact that sometimes they will have to visit without their husband. At the same time, a woman can be sure that if at this moment her husband is not with her, then he is not with another woman either.

Angry. This guy is a little crazy. He's angry at his parents, at his former boss, at his current boss. Rude to everyone. Listen to his words - is it really anyone else's fault for all his problems? He claims that all women are selfish, envious and cannot be trusted. Well, except for you, of course. This “except” makes you feel special and believe that all the bad things don’t apply to you. He loves you and thinks of you differently than he thinks of others. He's not angry with you...

Unfortunately, sooner or later you will become a victim of his anger. Psychologists have found that the Angry Man likes it when his wife objects to him in family scenes. After all, without struggle there is no winner?!

Diamond in the rough. At work he is valued, his colleagues respect him, but at the same time they make fun of him. This is a man who has achieved everything in life himself! Usually he is not yet forty, the suit looks like he slept in it, and the original color of the shoes is completely impossible to determine. He is usually looking for a woman whom he can patronize in exchange for taking care of him, or a woman with “classical” beauty who could raise him to her level and would like to receive from him the stability she needs in her life. Diamonds are very good students. They are the perfect choice for a woman who is not afraid to take risks. But you need to make sure that the diamond is not fake...

Romantic. Falls in love almost instantly. After you talk to him for a few days, you will begin to feel smarter, slimmer and more beautiful than before. Feel like you have grown wings. But, unfortunately, the Romantic is a sprinter by nature, a short-distance runner. Before you have time to look back, there’s already no trace of him. Usually he is looking for contacts with girls with whom he can have fun and talk about love until the grave.

A romantic is the most suitable option for a woman who has recently experienced a personal drama or is simply depressed. He will quickly lift her spirits and teach her to enjoy life again.

Responsible. He feels responsibility for his family and even friends on his shoulders. Clear, logical thinking allows the Responsible to move forward with almost no mistakes. Despite this, he is not boring and, avoiding unnecessary meetings and tedious evening entertainment, devotes a lot of time to sports or other healthy hobbies.

Thus, if on your life path If you meet such a responsible man, don’t hesitate for a moment, grab him and get married right away!

Victim. This man can charm you almost at first sight. And only after some time you will begin to notice that someone else is to blame for all his failures. He lacks a sense of gratitude and in life only remembers those who caused him trouble. Sometimes he seems so upset and in need of participation that it is simply impossible to refuse him. Then he begins to convince you and himself that sometimes you can still meet a real woman. And although these words sound like music, don’t give in!

These are some of the most common types of men. What should a woman do? She must understand who suits her best and start looking for such a person, not forgetting to look around. If a woman begins to constantly repeat that she needs a taller or richer husband, there is a danger that she may end up alone...

Are you easily vulnerable? Test

It seems to you that you are the embodiment of calm, but your loved ones claim that you are a bundle of nerves. Who is right?

You can check this with a test. Try to answer each of these questions sincerely. The answer “yes” - 2 points, “average” - 1 point, “no” - 0 points.

1. Are you easy to get excited about?

2. Do you consider yourself an impressionable person?

3. Do you do everything punctually and carefully?

4. Are you ambitious?

5. Do you get scared easily?

6. Are you satisfied with your personal life?

7. Are you too often impatient?

8. Is it easy for you to decide to buy a new thing?

9. Do you get irritated easily?

10. Do you envy anyone?

11. Are you jealous?

12. Do you feel insecure in the presence of your boss?

13. Do you think that you are indispensable at your workplace?

14. Do you lack time at work?

15. Do you have an inferiority complex?

16. Do you trust your loved ones and acquaintances?

17. Do you know how to enjoy little things?

18. Are you able to quickly forget all your worries and troubles?

19. Do you smoke more than five cigarettes a day?

20. Do you smoke more than 20 cigarettes a day?

21. Do you smoke more than 30 cigarettes a day?

22. Do you sleep well?

23. Do you feel bitter in the morning, good for nothing?

24. Do you react to changes in the weather?

25. At rest, is your heart rate 80 beats per minute?

26. Do you weigh too much?

27. Do you like movement, physical activity- running, walking?

28. Do you ever have pain in your heart?

29. Do you have bruises under your eyes?

30. Does noise annoy you?

31. Do you often have a headache?

32. Do you have stomach pain?

33. When you are nervous, do your palms sweat?

34. Do you like eggs? butter, salo?

35. Do you want something sweet from time to time?

36. Do you drive a car to work and shopping?

Now let’s check how strong our nerves are.

If you have from 1 to 6 points, then you can congratulate yourself. You are Iron Felix. I wonder how you manage not to react to anything?

From 7 to 13 points. You're still fine, but it's time to think about your nerves. If you don’t want the situation to get more complicated, protect your psyche from stress.

From 14 to 20 points. You are now depressed by some nervous situations that you find yourself in. Try to maintain as much distance as possible from people whose contact causes your heart to race and your palms to sweat.

From 21 to 30 points. You react very strongly to stressful situations, and you should consult your doctor. Maybe you have a toothache and it's weakening your mental stamina? Try to walk more, rather than sit at home watching TV.

More than 31 points. The situation is catastrophic. You are more than vulnerable, and this, apparently, is the cause of all your conflicts with your loved ones at home and colleagues at work. Consider “rebuilding” your lifestyle. Rest as much as possible, but not on the sofa under a blanket, but on fresh air with your boyfriend who will improve your mood.

Do you know him? Test

You see him often, you like him, but are you sure that you really know him? Ask him ten questions of this test, and... you risk being surprised, and he...

1. Of these three styles of clothing, which one does he prefer in women?

A. Boyish (jeans, caps, T-shirts).

B. Feminine (modest and strict).

B. Extravagant clothes (large jewelry, the latest whims of fashion).

2. Of these three points, which one appeals to him the most?

A. His work (institute, social activities).

B. Love.

B. Male friends.

3. If they tell him about marriage, he replies:

A. “Well, well, that’s funny.”

B. “Let’s talk about something else.”

B. “I need to think about it for one day.”

4. Let's imagine that he decided to spend the evening with you.

A. He tells you the detailed program for the evening.

B. He likes to improvise more, to rely on chance.

Q. He asks you to come up with something.

5. What quality attracts him most in a girl?

A. Decency.

B. Common sense.

B. Coquetry.

6. Which of the shortcomings makes him angry?

A. Your tendency to be in a bad mood.

B. Tears for any reason.

Q. That you are late for a date.

7. Which of these three actresses does he like?

A. Lyudmila Gurchenko.

B. Irina Alferova.

V. Alisa Freindlich.

8. He loved one girl very much, but when it became clear that the feelings were passing and he needed to “end it”, he...

A. Doesn’t want to see or know her anymore. It's over - period.

B. Tries to sort things out with her at least once, to explain himself.

V. Says: “We can remain friends.”

9. What sport interests him most?

A. Skiing, athleticism, running.

B. Chess.

B. Tennis.

10. Which of these three actors does he give his sympathies to?

A. Mikhail Boyarsky.

B. Vyacheslav Tikhonov.

V. Igor Starygin.

Now that he has answered, look at the results together.

Solve it (in his presence).

Count how many times “your” young man leaned towards opinion A, B or C. Largest quantity B, for example, corresponds to man B, etc.

So he named himself.

Man A. You may even admire yourself too much and are confident in yourself. Know that you are a little frivolous: you love a girl to submit to you, and at the same time you would like it if she replaced you, so to speak, as a male friend. Choose!

Your cruelty, you know, is only superficial.

It is in your taste to behave impulsively: it is very likely for you to find yourself tomorrow in the company of people whom you have not yet met today, or to become an object of antipathy to such an extent that you will feel like you were born into this world in vain. Yes, you are adorable and you know it! Try not to play too hard on this: you risk running into serious disappointment.

Muzhina B. Your sense of adventure and cheerful disposition, your shyness and collectedness suggest that you are both very sensitive and stern. You are not far from the ideal of girls, especially young ones. You do not tolerate noise and fuss, but at the same time you are able to show genuine tenderness. I wish there was less nervousness!.. Think about it. There are many other people around you and they are looking at you.

Man V. You have problems, that's for sure. When will you finally assert yourself and feel confident?

Think about this: you are an ideal confidant for a woman, but as a rule, they are rarely attracted to such people. Women are much more demanding than you think. You are not without charm, but you clearly lack mystery. But girls love secrets so much... And then, try to be less talkative. And at least sometimes listen to what they tell you, and most importantly, talk less yourself.