We must constantly work on ourselves. How to work on yourself. How to consolidate changes for the better

Hello, dear readers of Valery Kharlamov's blog! To achieve what he wants, to advance, both in his career and in his personal life, a person must leave the comfort zone, act and develop. Therefore, in order to simplify this process, and in general, to make it possible, it is important that work on oneself never stops, that is, it is permanent.

As you take a step forward towards change, try not to stop. After all, it is easier to move by inertia than to gather courage and try to budge. It is especially difficult if you have spent a lot of time on it; in this case, you will feel that you have "grown" to it. And this causes such a strong fear of change that it will be easier to endure something than to take and risk doing it differently.

It is for this reason that many victims of domestic violence do not leave their tyrants. But, if they begin to take care of themselves, knowing and realizing, then a moment will come when internal changes will occur, and will entail external ones.

2. Motivation

As we have already found out, human psychology is such that it is easier for him to sit still, albeit not comfortable, than to get up, fall, get up again, and so on. To move, you need good motivation, then you will have no time to think about how to force yourself to act.

Do you know what you want to achieve, what you live for? If you haven't decided yet, take it into service.

3. Responsibility

Realize that the responsibility for your life and its quality lies only with you, therefore everything that happens to you is a consequence of your choices and actions. Therefore, if you do not know where to start working on yourself, take an iron rule to yourself, rely only on yourself and always be responsible for your actions, even if you really don’t want to.

I do not urge you to refuse support and help, but I just want to convey to you so that you do not expect it as a matter of course. Someone may or may not help you, so always rely only on yourself.

It is when you stop sitting and waiting for miracles that someone will notice you so good and give you a bag of money - you will have a chance to earn it yourself, making your dream come true.

4. Workability

To realize that you are in some ways not perfect, and in some nuances you are not at all even up to the norm - you need to be brave and strong in spirit. It is also important to understand that if you give your best, you can achieve almost everything you want and cope with any difficulty.

Therefore, instead of getting upset that you do not hold out in something - gather your will into a fist and get to work. Yes, it will be difficult, sometimes it will seem that it is ineffectual and useless, but believe me, your work will be justified and bear fruit.

5. Planning

Plan your activities, it will be easier to understand when and what to do. And the temptations to relax will be less, because every day will be scheduled, even rest. If you don't know how to do this, and you are used to living without setting clear goals for yourself, everything is fixable.

6. Balance in life

So, let's say you tuned in and realized the full level of responsibility, and what next? And then you should determine which area in your life requires attention and correction. A technique such as drawing up the wheel of life balance will help you with this.

Then you will know exactly what and by how many percent you missed, personal life, health, professional activity or leisure. Or maybe the spiritual component of your personality has suffered a little?

7. Reading

Read at every opportunity. This way you will be able not only to replenish the stock of knowledge, but you will also involuntarily train your memory, thinking and attention. And I recommend starting with books on the topic of self-development.

For example, such as Get Out of Your Comfort Zone by Brian Tracy, by the way, she is a bestseller and a leader among the books on this subject. Or "This year I ..." M. Ryan, which will help to cope with bad habits and teach you to keep promises, even those that are addressed to yourself.

9. Phases

Constant work on oneself is possible only if it is gradual, otherwise, having given oneself an increased load that does not correspond to the possibilities, one can leave the distance halfway, without having time to achieve the desired changes. Therefore, be sure to take this moment into account, it will allow you to notice reality, and not be fascinated by fantasies.

Let's say you want to lose weight - plan your activities to combat the hated pounds so that the body does not experience stress from unexpected unbearable changes. Take care of yourself.

Conclusion

And that's all for today, dear readers! Internal work on yourself is actually a colossal work, so I wish you success in this process, and inspiration! And in order to check how developed your abilities for self-organization and self-control are, I propose to take an online test.

The material was prepared by Zhuravina Alina.

The question was asked about how to find your mission and determine the direction of changes in life. In this article, I would like to answer this question and recommend some simple techniques that you can try right after reading.

Why do we want to change?

If it seems to you that something needs to be changed in this life, then it does not seem to you.

Rinat Valiullin

I am that the first step to making a conscious change in life is planning. However, I did not specify what exactly makes us start planning, looking for sources of motivation and working with our resources.

Everything is very simple - it is a rejection of reality.

We begin to think about changes when a desire is born in us to say: “There is something wrong in my life. I do not like it!". It happens when something makes us question our living standards.

I recently read the story of a girl who lost 20 kilograms. I will give it as an example.

“I was on the subway when all the seats were taken. My grandmother was sitting in front of me and for the first few minutes she carefully examined me. Then she got up and with the words: "Sit down, daughter, you are not supposed to stand with the baby" - gave me a seat. Burning with shame and holding my "baby", I sat down. It was at that moment that I realized that it couldn't go on like this. "

The first thing that you must understand when you embarked on the path of change is that the new standards you are striving for do not correspond to what you have at this stage. But after all, not everyone has such an opportunity to experience a moment of utmost clarity, to see themselves from the outside and rethink their habits, like the aforementioned girl. So what do you do?

1. What do I want to change?

It doesn't make much sense to climb a ladder if it's against the wrong wall.

Stephen Covey

This is the main question that worries most people who have received a charge of motivation, but do not know where to direct their energy.

There are many ways to identify problem areas, but the simplest and most effective of them is a competent assessment. To do this, you need to separately consider the main areas of your life, which, as a rule, include:

• love;
• friendship;
• welfare;
• health;
• Work;
• hobby.

This classification was proposed by Russian business coach Radislav Gandapas. You can use your own division, revealing individual directions in more detail.

Now you need to evaluate each of them on a ten-point scale. This will help you determine which areas need your attention in the first place. If you have opposite scores (for example, 3 and 10), then you should think about how to redirect your efforts to the area that needs it more.

If all the numbers are approximately the same, then start with health and love, since their development most of all trains the will and gives motivation for self-improvement.

2. How to force yourself to act?

To change something, a person needs to go through a catastrophe, poverty or the nearness of death.

Erich Maria Remarque

After you have decided what to work on, you must put yourself into a state of rejection of reality. Your desire to raise existing standards must overcome the fear that is guaranteed to cause the desire to leave things as they are. What is needed for this?

Take a piece of paper and write down the goal in the chosen area. For example: "I want to develop a strong relationship." Now divide the sheet into two columns with the following titles:

1. Old standards. What will happen in five years if I leave everything as it is?
2. New standards. What will happen in five years if I start working on myself in this area?

Now try to be as honest as possible and write down the detailed answers to these questions. In our example of strong relationships, old standards would include loneliness, lack of understanding, emotional instability, and so on. For new ones - emotional support, a pleasant pastime, a happy marriage.

So what standards do you want to live by?

3. Live by new standards. Today!

There is no balance in life. Every moment is either a movement towards perfection or degradation.

Andrew Matthews

Now you know in which direction you need to move and what results await you at the end. At this stage, overwhelmed with emotions, we first begin to make plans to change the chosen area, but our enthusiasm quickly disappears.

To prove to yourself that your standards are truly a thing of the past, start changing your chosen area today, right now. The picture below is a great example of motivation for you.

Pinterest.com

To see multiple changes in a year, it is enough to change by only 1% today. Write to an old friend you haven't spoken to for a long time, do some exercises, ask about career opportunities at work. Do something every day that will bring you closer to your goal, even if just one step.

Start working on yourself and change your life for the better!

Change is inevitable. They are not needed only by those who are satisfied with the monotonous work and pastime in the beer bar as a rest. For those who have a little more ambition regarding their own lives, there are paths an order of magnitude higher. But change is something that can be exhausting, frightening, and exhausting. And besides, they take time.

Where to start working on yourself if the possibility of change seems almost unrealistic? How to embark on this difficult path called "personal development"? Let's consider several fundamental steps, without which the beginning of personal growth is impossible.

Accept reality

Acceptance and understanding are some of the most necessary things. Why? Because until you open your eyes to the reality in which you live, alas, you live in the kingdom of self-deception. Denying the true state of affairs, a person himself closes the path to change. He rationalizes the situation, trying to imagine it better than it really is. This makes him less motivated to make a difference. It is also less likely that by deceiving oneself, a person will be able to turn the energy of despair into a productive channel.

So, accept reality, even if it's not easy to do. This will help you gain awareness, which is the first step towards any new endeavor.

To have a wish

To grow spiritually and improve your life, you need to strive for improvement. Without this desire, nothing can help - neither advanced psychotechnology, nor advice, nor best friends and coach-trainers. Do you know what can make it easier to find desire? Result visualization. You must be aware that work on yourself will sooner or later bear fruit. By presenting these results, it will be easier for you to make efforts to achieve your goal over and over again.

Take responsibility

Each person is responsible for everything that happens in his life. And the current situation in which you find yourself is just the result of decisions made once. No one else can live a life for you, and that someone else can be the cause of your failure is pure illusion. Working on yourself involves developing an understanding that you no longer need anyone's direction or approval.

Clarify your goals

When you have already roughly understood, there is still a need to clearly define the final goals and objectives. Think of them like a navigator in your car - you can't get directions unless you give it a destination.

• Also see:

When you clearly identify the tasks that will lead to the desired change, you become able to focus more on specific efforts. Your goals should determine the ways to achieve them, life areas that are subject to change, the final result.

Identify your strengths

Each person has a certain gift and has above average abilities in a certain area. Even if you are not a talented actor or singer, you can be a wonderful parent, a compassionate listener, a caring person.

What are your strengths? If you are unsure, you can ask your friends or family members this question. The answers can be amazing. Your talents and personality are what makes you exceptional and can help bring about the changes you need.

Set clear deadlines

Goals should be specific and time-bound. If you have a goal, but you do not define a specific time frame for its achievement, it is unlikely that it will ever be achieved in principle. The same is true if you have a big goal, but plan to achieve it in a short time. When planning, you need to be realistic about your capabilities. Instead of saying, “One day I will become the life of the party,” it’s better to start by setting a goal to make a few new acquaintances within six months.

As long as you work on change, try not to pay attention to obstacles and difficulties. Imagine how wonderful you will feel when your goal is achieved. And you can also define for yourself the reward that you will receive when the job is done.

Take the first steps

So, after you've identified the weaknesses in your life, assumed responsibility, clarified your goals, it's time to take concrete steps. These steps are specific actions that will help you achieve the changes you want. In fact, it is at this moment that you work on yourself. Where to start depends on your specific objectives. If you would like to lose weight, then it will be an enrollment in a fitness club and the selection of the right diet.

If your goal is to improve academic performance, then these are regular classes on your own or with a teacher. Steps to achieve the goal help to overcome old habits, get rid of unnecessary attitudes, and bring the desired changes closer.

Cultivate perseverance and patience

One of the biggest challenges in achieving any change is sticking to your plan every day. An easy decision to make, but who wants to learn programming after a hard day at work? How can you give up chocolate brownie in the company of friends? And can a run on a rainy day be as enjoyable as a cozy sofa and your favorite TV show?

So, make sure to stick to your goals and constantly remind yourself of them. Be vigilant and celebrate each day how close you are to your goals. Make sure that even in the midst of distractions, setbacks, or disappointments, you always have a supply of motivation and determination.

Change and self-improvement include many aspects: it is the commitment, and the allocation of time, and the application of effort. But all this investment you make in the most important project - in yourself. And when you invest in yourself, you can get the most amazing rewards in the future.

Many people give up on growth and development, as the initial results are almost impossible to measure or feel. However, those who reach heights know that the key to success is the ability to manage yourself in any situation. And this ability comes through hard work on oneself.

Therefore, if you are thinking that you need to somehow self-develop and improve, then you can take note of the following tips. Remember that self-development is complex actions based on your desire, self-study and exercises aimed at improving your life.

Where to begin?

• First advice... First of all, your self-development and self-improvement should give you pleasure. You do this first of all for yourself, so that later you will be in a more advantageous position in front of others, in order to use your knowledge and be sure that knowledgeable people will be able to appreciate it.
• Second tip... Realize if you correctly understand these concepts, what they mean to you.

Self-development is a natural process that can take place, both without the control of a person, and under his guidance in the area or area he needs. This includes the skills that a person acquires during his life and life experience itself, the lessons that a person learns from past situations.

Uncontrolled self-development is the very process called life: birth, growing up, aging.

Controlled self-development is a conscious and purposeful action aimed at improving any qualities, skills, abilities, with the help of independent studies and exercises of their own free will and desire, without outside assistance.

Self-development can be of two types: intellectual and physical.

Self-improvement is the result of self-development. In the process of self-improvement, you improve or completely change any aspect of your life.

When you understand the concepts, it will be easier for you to work on yourself.

Third tip... Reconsider your life in all areas and areas. What have you achieved, what have you achieved, what goals have you fulfilled and your desires have been fulfilled.

Try to find your weaknesses. Make a plan of action, how you will work on yourself, in what sequence and on what area.

Sample analysis

• Physical training. If you are overweight or do not look attractive enough, it may be worthwhile to exercise, go to the gym, or do exercises at home.
• Health. Your daily routine. How healthy are you eating. The presence of bad habits. Weakened immunity. Exclude less wholesome food from the diet, give up bad habits, strengthen immunity.
• Your spiritual side. How often you are tormented by outbursts of anger, envy, depression and bad mood, stress. What annoys you and how often you lose your temper. Learn to relax, meditate, treat yourself and people more easily. Set yourself up for a positive mood. Give up destructive emotions like jealousy, anger, anger.
• Your financial situation. Are you satisfied with everything, how satisfied are you with your situation at the moment? Maybe it is worth changing something or acquiring an additional profession or raising qualifications.
• Your relationship with others. Do you often have conflicts with others, do you know how to control your emotions, what kind of relationships in your family circle or personal life. Learn to communicate and talk, have a constructive conversation, and seek compromises. Learn to work as a team.
• Intellectual development. How attentive you are to the events around you and what is happening around you. How things are with memory. Do you know how to think broadly and see the problem from all sides? Develop creative thinking, set goals and achieve them, plan your time.

You can also simplify this diagram a little and make a list of questions. Sample questions:

• What does not suit me in myself?
• What does not suit my close people?
• What does not suit my colleagues in me?
• What do I need to achieve?
• What do I want to change?
• How to do it?

There may be several answers to these questions, in order to find the right approach, write down all the answers and arrange them in the order of greatest importance to you. You can make a table with the name of the graph: what does not suit on the one hand and the solution options on the other. Or draw a circle, divide it into sectors and enter the answers to the questions there.

After you have analyzed your life, you can start self-development. To do this, you need to choose one of the most neglected or problematic areas, set a goal and achieve it. If such a sphere is not found and all your areas of life are approximately at the same level, then you can start either from simple to complex, or, conversely, from complex to simple. In this way, you will gradually correct your shortcomings. To see what you are working on, write down your goal, and below it, options for achieving it.

Fourth tip... There should always be a positive attitude in everything. You must trust that you will succeed. Don't stop there and move on to the next goal. Do not listen when someone tells you that something is failing or failing. Count only on yourself and yourself as a whole. It's up to you to decide what to do.

Fifth advice... Do not be discouraged if something does not work out, look for a different approach, develop other techniques and start from the beginning. Don't give up. Failures are given in order to test your strength. They retreated, which means they did not manage and did not really want to go forward. As a result, you will get a more difficult task, and you will have to work twice as much. They pulled themselves together and did not give up, which means you want to go forward and develop.

Sixth tip... Read books, do not hesitate to buy books that help in matters of self-development and self-improvement. Moreover, now there is a huge access to Internet resources that are dedicated to improving your life and self-development in general and in individual areas, which can be studied, both for free, and you can buy a full course.

Seventh tip... Write down your successes, for progressive work on yourself, you can indicate the time frame in which this goal should be achieved or achieved. Set a real period of time so that after once again you will not be upset that you did not meet the allotted time.

Eighth tip... You should always have motivation and a ready-made clear answer for what you are engaged in self-development and self-improvement. First of all, you do it for yourself. If someone doubts your abilities and intentions, do not take their words seriously, these people simply cannot gather their strength and start working on themselves.

Ninth advice... Be realistic, write realistic goals and realistic deadlines for the task at hand.

Tenth tip... Know how to control your emotions, sometimes it is better to remain silent than to flare up. Discard negativity.

Council eleventh... You can get yourself a notebook in which you will write down your goals and dreams. Also a separate notebook for recording the goal and options for achieving it.

Always remember that it is never too late to develop yourself, and that the most important thing is that the process of self-improvement is ongoing. When you have achieved some goals and realized that your development has become a little higher, rise further, look for new goals and objectives.

In self-development, planning your time can help you. If you do not have time for a lot or do not know what time to engage in self-development, then schedule your day. First, on the tasks that you perform and the tasks that need to be done. After that, pay attention to how much time it takes you to complete a specific task. To make a planner of your time, write down the tasks and the time interval for the execution of each task on a sheet of paper. The next day, try to follow the plan that you made for yourself. If it doesn’t work, then you can either reduce the number of tasks, or shorten the time of some points, devoting more time to what you don’t have time for.

Very often we try to control everything and change the world around us, as it is beneficial to us. But alas, this task is simply overwhelming for one person. We forget about the fact that the world around us becomes completely different, it is necessary to radically change ourselves, and the process of self-improvement will help in this. Work on yourself- this is what should be given special attention.

Where to begin?

Experts identify 4 stages of this method, which will help a person understand himself, understand where to start his changes and what actions need to be taken for this.

1 Introspection

This stage of self-improvement is the most important. It is necessary to honestly recognize and highlight all your advantages and negative qualities. You can take a blank sheet of paper, divide it into two columns, write down your observations, or remember those moments that prevent you from developing and living the way you want. For example:

• Troubles or problems;
• Bad deeds that haunt you;
• Tormenting resentment;
• Tipping points.

This analysis can be very emotional and painful, but the more honest you do it, the better for you. You will be able to see the real picture and understand what needs to be changed in yourself in order to move forward and.