Silent parting. Who is it good for? He didn’t leave, but disappeared: why men break up without explaining anything to us Why does this situation happen
If your partner suddenly breaks off the relationship without explaining anything or even informing you of his decision, this is a bad deed. Dot.
Why bad? Because in the world of civilized relations it is customary to talk. And no, "talk" is not synonymous with "to brainwash". By talking and discussing our relationships, values, desires and needs, we save this very brain. And at the same time, we avoid a lot of unnecessary worries and problems that are born just because of misunderstanding and the lack of this very “heart-to-heart talk”.
But since we tend to justify the behavior of those we love, let's look at some of the most common scenarios. So, the #1 excuse in the world is that your man is “non-verbal.” It’s hard and difficult for him to explain himself to you, so he prefers to “just leave.”
Only in the realm of people is a “real man” considered to be “non-verbal”. Like, discussing relationships, pouring from empty to empty, is the lot of women. In fact, it is the male who sings in the animal kingdom. Yes, and in our human society there are such "nightingales" that you will swing. Question: why so often it is men who prefer to hide under the guise of nonverbality?
In fairness, I note that yes, women do this too, but much less often. Most often, this means that everything really bothered her so that there is simply no strength to sort things out. In most cases, “just leave” is beyond our feminine powers. Usually we need to talk, discuss, find out, slam the door and come back again to finish. This is our feminine essence.
In reality, under such a convenient non-verbality of a man, a whole bunch can be hidden - from poor upbringing to a mental disorder. Most often, those men leave without explaining the reasons, in whose anamnesis there is a desire to manipulate a partner, emotional coldness, infantilism and, finally, banal cowardice.
He is emotionally cold
An emotionally cold, unavailable man is often unaware of the pain he is causing you with his actions. Most likely, he did not understand your feelings, being in a relationship, and even more so, he does not care after their end. You can, of course, "catch up, tie and talk." But it’s unlikely that you will be able to get from him exactly that emotional reaction that you lack so much. Most likely, he will turn off the phone and stop responding to SMS.
He is a manipulator
The manipulative man "goes nowhere", leaving you with the hope that he can return at any moment. You are like a fish with a hook in your lip - you seem to be alive, but you hang out at the end of the fishing line. He does not finish you completely - he has a different goal. Having suffered, you must “think again” and “realize”. What exactly to realize and how to change your mind is a matter of individual relationships. But the scheme is always the same: to keep you in limbo for as long as possible. He will not turn off the phone, but will defiantly drop your calls. He can show his "resentment" in many ways, giving you hope for a continuation of the relationship and at the same time causing emotional suffering.
Some women manage to successfully stop this behavior of a partner. They are off the hook and, although not without loss, are able to move on. For the majority, the result of such manipulations is deplorable: either the woman can’t stand it and starts calling, running, asking questions and persuading, or she locks herself at home and sobs, sobs, sobs to the point of hiccups. At this time, the manipulator starts a kind of imaginary timer, and when the woman reaches the desired condition, she returns, raising her status in the relationship to the desired level. It is impossible to use such “pumping” in a relationship all the time, but there are women who are ready to endure this roller coaster for years for the sake of the appearance of love and relationships. If you haven't realized yet, this is not love.
He is infantile
An infantile man leaves silently simply because he does not know how to do otherwise. He has nothing to say. At best, his mother will do it for him. The man himself, regardless of age, never learned to voice his fears and needs. He is unable to identify his own feelings and emotions, let alone consider and respect yours. In some way, he is like a puppy, constantly distracted by a butterfly, then a caterpillar - the very charm and spontaneity. But do you need such a miracle in a mature relationship?
A cowardly man prefers to hide his head in the sand and find out nothing. But you most likely do not have sand in your apartment, therefore, having beaten your head on the laminate for decency, a man of this type is in a hurry to leave the room. The reason is simple: he is scared. It's scary from the responsibility that you place on him. Scared of your success or pressure. It's scary from the expectations that you voice, calling them "dreams about the future." In other words, he is not ready for this relationship, and possibly for a relationship AT ALL.
He's just a coward
A coward is not an insult. This is a diagnosis. To the question "why is he like this?" The best answer is an expert. If you want to "understand and re-educate" - go for it. A cowardly man is better than a manipulative man and more productive than a childish man. But can you be sure that at a crucial moment, instead of acting, your partner will not start looking around in search of sand?
And, finally, there is such a subspecies as a "poorly educated man." I don't want to use the word boor, so pick a synonym for yourself. Usually these rarely leave without noise. But if this happened, thank your guardian angel and change the locks.
There are many types and reasons. The essence is one. Relationships that end or end in this way are unhealthy relationships. This is not the partner who will bring you happiness and make you feel loved and protected.
What to do with it?
Accept the fact that the relationship is over. Don't make excuses for your partner and don't lie to yourself by trying to deny the obvious. Your partner is an adult independent person, and, in the end, he has the right to his own vision of the situation.
Identify your feelings. When the soul and heart are in tatters, it is very difficult to localize the pain. Try to understand exactly how you feel. Resentment? Anger? Perplexity? By understanding the cause of the pain, it will be easier for you to deal with it.
Sometimes men end relationships like this - all of a sudden, without explanation, although it seems that there were no real, visible prerequisites for this.
You've been dating for several weeks now. Your relationship can be called ideal, because everything happens without haste, calmly. You feel like you really need each other. But this ill-fated day comes, and your man suddenly becomes cold, says little, kisses even less, escorts home, as always in the evening, says that he will call in the morning. And .... disappears forever.
Don't try to get an explanation from him, he doesn't have one. Don't make hasty decisions that you might later regret. You need to stay in touch, keep in touch. Don't decide your relationship, but give him time to make clear what he wants. Not much time, because the time can be long. Here, the more you are away from yourself and communication is weak, the more your mutual feelings weaken. Set a period of time that expires and there will be no change, so it's best to end it and continue.
The person most often leaves and has anger in the other person. Here they have the greatest share in the disorder of emotions and rash decisions. Who later regrets. It's good that they both cut off communication for a moment so they can cool their emotions down to normal levels. When emotions influence our decisions, it won't do much good. Then you need to try to connect to the other person, according to the general message, you will know how the other side is. It's not worth discussing the reason why you fought, it's not going anywhere.
And for many more months, the woman will be tormented by the question: “Why did her man disappear so easily?” And there is nothing worse in the current situation than the lack of an answer to this disturbing day and night question. After all, as you know, it is preferable to know the unpleasant truth than to constantly scroll through fictional scenarios in your head and blame yourself for everything.
Have fun, naturally, and slowly try to bring about a general reconciliation. When you have done all this, take your lessons and try to avoid this situation next time. Because you won't be able to put up with it next time. Sometimes this may be the reason that one of the partners is no longer in the second, which was at the beginning of their relationship, when they got to know each other. Life seems boring and looking for love and feels like somewhere else. Another reason is mutual distrust, quarrels, lack of interest in each other.
Here you need to first understand if it is worth fighting for. Even if we get him back, he will never be the same. However, there will be some distrust that has arisen since his departure. If we decide to fight for it, we first need to restore the overall connection, which is usually minimal after the departure, or rather not. If we can do that, that's a good start. The ideal thing is to arrange a meeting but not continue it, etc. we need to create a friendly and pleasant meeting that will make it more impressive and you will have another chance for another meeting.
Why does such a situation happen?
Reason number 1. Often this happens if a man is looking for a moment of entertainment, because he does not need a serious relationship at this stage of his life. Such a man meets an attractive woman, trying with all his might to create a pleasant impression of himself, and at some point he realizes that relationships develop not just into entertainment, but into relationships that may have a future. And he doesn't need them.
Every other meeting is a plus for you to understand who lost you and who he can return to you. Many people advise bushes, and they usually advise, give time, take their time. Time passes not only in your life, but also in your relationships. Another problem is that you often think you know what the other is thinking. This is usually a big mistake and unnecessarily adds tension and problems to the relationship. If you want to know what the other person thinks, ask him, you will be sure.
Suddenly he left you and you scream? With your husband, you have a long-term calm and relaxed relationship that is only tangled here and there with tiny clouds of incomprehension that instantly disappear with every smile. Much more pleasant moments that remind you of the morning reds in the sky. Time rejoices, and you cannot even see under the veil of satisfaction that the reds turn into cloudy twilights. All of a sudden there was none of that, and your lover leaves you.
Then the man silently and instantly disappears, and after a while, if necessary, if he suddenly meets this woman and needs to somehow justify himself, he speaks of an urgent departure abroad, the loss of a phone with all numbers, or a tragedy that happened in his family. Of course, there is a possibility that some of what he said is true. But in most cases, a man just needs to run away, and such intricacies of false words are necessary to leave a good impression about himself in the eyes of a woman, and this allows the man himself to think better of himself.
Leave without a reason, no explanation, and you do not understand anything. You love him and hate him at the same time for everything he has done to you. And most of all, you hate the one who took you away. Yes, it has been promised to you for a long time. And you believed him, unconditional and limitless. And suddenly you are alone, deserted and all the time thinking about it, about your holiday and about who you recently planned with. None of this is real and you are walking like a soulless body. You calm down to return as soon as he realizes that he will only be happy next to you.
In truth, this scenario is very unlikely, and if he leaves you, he really does not care about your overall future. How to deal with pain and injustice? From the very beginning, you need to prepare for the fact that you and your walk are not only interested in the skill from the neighborhood. Even slander does not allow you to wait long, and all this will make you regret many painful emotions. Over time, however, all interest will fade and you will be faced with a whole host of questions. Does he love her more than when he once loved me?
Reason number 2. There are men who are too afraid that a woman, intruding into their life, will destroy her usual course. And especially lightning-fast care happens if it turns out that a woman and a man are too different in their lifestyle. This may be when a man is a homebody who likes to spend evenings at home reading books or newspapers, chatting with a close friend, or some male household chores.
Most techno rarely get the right answer. But time is the best remedy for all kinds of sorrows, and if you are strong, grief will soon disappear and it is up to you to take its place. Don't fool yourself in a corner where you'll only be shaken by pain. Although it is very difficult, it is important that you rise from the bottom again and begin to notice the small everyday joy that life brings us. If you're still catching up with your ex, then you haven't been hurt yet, and it's not about confiding your pain with a friend or another relative.
The path to healing is sometimes long, sometimes shorter, but eventually you will get it if you want it. What to do at this time and what to forget? Before you get past this anxious period, emotions and often anger will cloud you, quickly and easily hiding any rational action. Painful gait has been experienced by many women, so don't listen to this question or read some good advice that will help you in your new endeavors. This is the only way to save yourself from unnecessary mistakes and errors.
And his new girlfriend is a real party girl who considers spending time at home a waste of time. And her next request, quite persistent - "go hang out" - becomes the last straw. Such a man needs the usual comfort, and he meets a woman in the expectation that she will share with him his passion for domesticity. If this does not happen, then the main factor in his sudden departure becomes the unwillingness to change himself and the simultaneous understanding that he cannot but remake the woman "party girl".
Never enter into any new contact with a new male ex-partner, do not look for him or even name him. Often, it doesn't even have to be who is responsible for your hack. Walking is a matter for you and your ex, and if you bother her anyway, things will eventually turn against you. For a person, such behavior will awaken protective instincts to his new love, and in the end you will be wrong again. Even if the situation is directly proposed, never release your former frontman.
Sooner or later, he will find out, and your relationship will become even hotter. It should not pay off, especially if you have common property and children. If you're trying to heal broken hearts with music, then you'd rather sing songs that lift your spirits and don't remind you of your past with your ex.
Couples - a man - a gulena and a woman - a homebody, a man - a slut and a woman - a neat woman, a man - an unemployed person and a woman - a business lady, etc. – are also unlikely to have a happy life together.
Reason number 3. A man leaves without clarifying the relationship and if there is a negative experience of clarifying the relationship, which forces him to stay away from direct conversations. If a man meets a woman who, in the course of a relationship, is late for a date, a broken cup, a minor oversight on the part of a man causes a whole disproportionate storm of emotions, the man then understands that his words about ending the relationship can become a real Armageddon for a woman. And call on the head of a man all the thunders and lightnings, or, in extreme cases, a sizzling storm. In this case, a banal defensive reaction is triggered in relation to a man, and he seeks to protect his psyche from excessive female negativity.
Just as it's a good idea not to listen to music that can evoke certain feelings and memories, the emotional sound of your parrot voice that you know so well can cause your emotions to rise. Your broken heart can also heal loneliness. It is not good to walk in a beautiful place or in nature, where no one will disturb you and cry in peace. You can scream all your problems and do everything you didn't tell him to give to your ex-husband.
Even if you have a strong desire to avenge you first, you will not help. If you want revenge for meeting your friend, they will probably turn against you. Instead, you want to clarify what is important to you at the moment and what you are doing for new challenges. Your anger and anger are your emotions that will hurt you while your ex is already enjoying the new experience and new life. You need to get rid of bad emotions, and if you don't, you will only be the one who will always fall to your knees.
Reason number 4. A man may also wish to part without explaining the reasons if the real reason for parting is too intimate for an open explanation. For example, between a man and a woman there is dissatisfaction in bed. That is, a woman does not agree to any kind of intimate caresses and games, which for a man can be a decisive factor. But here's how to say, looking into the eyes of a woman: I'm leaving you, because I love anal sex, but you don't accept it? And the man just runs away without explanation.
However, in these untreated issues, they do not affect children. Don't drag them into your arguments that hurt them and they often don't understand. Is it worth it for a child to create a weapon and a shield in a losing battle? Another common mistake women make is comparing themselves to a new female expander. Every woman is beautiful in her own uniqueness and acts differently on every person.
Do you still want to cling to the past? If you don't want to forgive yourself or him, you will worry and cry endlessly over spilled milk. This is not the best way to heal your heart. If you are endlessly confused, new love and happiness are unlikely to find your way. Anyone can fall in love, and love only comes when we least expect it. If your partner left you, it was mainly because love had disappeared from the relationship. We cannot bind or force us to stay with us.
Such a reason even today, in the era of emancipation and permissiveness, looks simply “not serious” in terms of ideas about human relations. And the man is well aware of this. It is this - frivolous - that the reason for his departure will look, both for the woman and for her friends. And not wanting to expose his sexual addictions to the public, a man will prefer to just leave in silence. Or get off with common streamlined phrases. The most common of these - I see that we are not suitable for each other.
You can see for yourself that you can live without it. It's not easy or too much fun, but short and good, you're still living without a partner. Moreover, you have the opportunity to live the way you want it. You have the opportunity to achieve what you have been craving for all these years, but for what you have never given courage. Your time for everything is now. You don't have to reduce stupidity or stupidity to end up with the world.
Life goes on and we always have a choice. Instead of worry and sadness, we can give thanks for the experience and take a new journey through life that can bring us much more than living in a dysfunctional marriage. Have you read here and you still claim that you can't live without it?
Reason #5 . Of course, there is such a type of women from whom any partner will run away without a word - this is the ivy woman. Such women "without memory" immediately fall in love and want to completely take over the world of their man. They insist in a hysterical form that he only spends all the time with her, and only devotes all his attention to her. Most men in such cases do not withstand such an onslaught, their defense mechanism works, and they simply run away.
It turns out that there are more than enough reasons for a silent parting on the part of a man. Only now, such a silent male flight often hurts a woman even more than a specifically stated reason. In addition, it is no secret that a man can be seen by how he does not start a relationship, and not how he ends them.
WEAKNESS IS THE MAIN REASON FOR A SILENT CARE OF A MAN
Leaving is always hard. But it's even harder to announce your departure. If a man and a woman have a close relationship, this does not mean the presence of love at all, although this fact denies the presence of hatred. None of us wants to hurt loved ones. Everyone wants to be heroes, to do courageous and right things. The only problem is that sometimes the truth hurts on its own, without the participation of a person. Not everyone can decide on a frank to nauseating truth. That is why many men prefer to hide behind a serpentine of a beautiful and sweet to cloying lie. The fact is that admitting to the absence of love feelings is a hundred times harder than admitting to having them.
Whatever it was, the main reason for breaking up a relationship is the lack of love of one of the partners. Of course, in a couple, someone always loves more. But such a variant of relations is possible only if the other side allows itself to be loved. The main answer to the question why a man leaves in silence is that at some point the man realizes that further relationships do not make sense. Many prefer to part without saying goodbye, in English, simply because they do not see the point in sincere confessions. In addition, many men may fear the reaction of their former lover. Extra tears, reproaches and resentment do not act on them in the best way.
EXCESSIVE RESPONSIBILITY, OR WHY A MAN LEAVES SILENTLY
Men are afraid of responsibility. Even if they dream of a family, they see responsibility for someone else's life as a terrible monster. As a rule, any close relationship implies a responsibility towards each other. When the fine line between freedom and responsibility is torn, some men prefer to leave as soon as possible. Often, there is no need to explain in this case. After all, how does a man argue his move - by the fact that he is not ready for responsibility and a serious relationship? Not everyone will be able to admit it.
In addition, the word form is difficult for men. Not everyone will be able to explain in an accessible and understandable way what does not suit him in a relationship. He thinks it will be better. In some situations, the paradox - why a man leaves silently, really becomes the best solution to the problem. Indeed, in this situation, a woman has a lot of room for imagination. Moreover, subconsciously, she does not feel abandoned, because there was no moment of parting. If you wish, you can come up with a beautiful legend for yourself, in which a man leaves with tears in his eyes, because his noble heart understands that his chosen one deserves a better candidate. Of course, this is also a sweet lie, but sometimes it is less painful than the bitter truth, in the form of many hours of reproaches, claims and scandals.
WHEN MEETING A NEW LOVE, A MAN LEAVES SILENTLY
A woman and a man can be in a close relationship for a long period, it may even seem to them that they love each other, but at one fine moment a third party appears in their relationship, and all previous feelings seem to be delusions.
Men are no less amorous than women. Having met the ideal of their dreams, they rarely care about sentimentality. A woman may worry about why a man leaves in silence, and he will practically not notice this fact for the simple reason that he is no longer interested in his past life.
MAN LEAVES SILENTLY BECAUSE OF WOMAN
Every woman wants to be loved. Sometimes this feeling is so strong that it covers her entirely, forcing her to literally enslave her soul mate. A woman strives for a man to spend every minute with her, talk about his plans, and not notice anyone around. It is unlikely that any man wants to be a hostage of fanatical love. In this case, many members of the stronger sex prefer to leave immediately.
Quiet and forever.
Finally, some statistics:
67% of men who get divorced will remarry within the next 5 years. At the same time, they remain convinced that the first wife was better.
30% of divorced men want and try to get married, even turn to marriage agencies.
20% of divorced men create a permanent couple or marry only after 20 years.
15% of men get married within 5 to 10 years of divorce.
Yes, and for a long time I want to ask - how would you "want" (well, if it happened) - that the man left?
And why do men often return, but women do not?