What Münhausen's best friends said about him. Ingenious quotes from the movie "The same Munchausen

Every year in the Museum of Baron Munchausen (Latvia) the offensive of May 32, mentioned in the film "The Same Munchausen", is celebrated. Baron Munchausen, signing the divorce papers, dates them to May 32 - according to his calculations, an error has crept into the calendar over the past millennia, associated with a more accurately calculated period of the Earth's revolution around its axis, and this year there should be one more day. But the ideas of the baron are of no interest to anyone, everyone perceives his act as another challenge to public order.

Film directed by Mark Zakharov with the inimitable Oleg Yankovsky in starring immediately won the hearts of the audience, and after being released in 1979, it was disassembled into quotes. This is a real masterpiece that you want to revisit over and over again - and each time find new meanings.


- Truth is what is in this moment considered to be true ...

You say - hunting ...
- I'm talking?
- Well, well, don't say, think.

Are you saying that a person can lift themselves by their hair?
- Necessarily! Thinking man I just have to do it from time to time.


- Mister Baron has been expecting you for a long time. He has been working in his office since morning, locked himself up and asked: "Thomas," he says, "has Mr. Pastor arrived yet?" I say, "Not yet." He says: "Well, thank God." Very much waiting for you.

Mr. Baron went hunting in the forest and there he met this bear. The bear rushed at him, and since Mr. Baron was without a gun ...
- Why without a gun?
- I say: he went hunting ...
- And when the bear rushed at him, Mister Baron grabbed him by the front paws and held him until he died.
- And from what did he die?
- From hunger. As you know, the bear eats by sucking its paw, and since the baron has deprived him of this opportunity ...
- And what do you believe in all this?
- Of course. You yourself saw how thin he is.
- Who?
- Bear.
- What bear?
- Which you saw.


- Frau Marta, I didn't hear: what time is it?
- The clock struck 3, the baron - 2, therefore, only 5.

Are you tired of waiting for me, dear? Sorry, Newton got me late.

We will beat through the chimney.

I got it. Duck! With apples. She seems to be well done.
- She seems to have doused herself with sauce on the way.
- Yes? How sweet of her!

She ran away from me two years ago.
“In truth, Baron, I would have done the same in her place.
“That’s why I’m not marrying you, but Martha.”
- Unfortunately, with a living wife, you cannot marry again.
- When alive? Are you offering to kill her?
- God forbid you, baron!


“But you are allowing kings to divorce.
- Well, kings on special occasions, as an exception, when it is necessary, say, for procreation.
- For procreation you need something completely different.
- The Church should bless love!
- Legal!
- All love is legal if it is love!
- It's just your way!
- What do you advise?
- There is nothing to advise here: live as you lived. Only according to civil and church laws, the wife who is no longer your wife will still be considered your wife!


- I was told - clever man.
- Well, you never know what they talk about a person!

Well, I can't change because of every idiot!
- Become like everyone else, Karl! I'm begging!
- As everybody? What are you saying? Like everyone else ... Do not fly on cannonballs, do not hunt mammoths, do not correspond with Shakespeare ...

- What are you screaming at night?
- Is it night?
- Night.
- And how long?
- Since the evening.

I mean, the duck is ready.
- Let her go. Let it fly.


- Do you want to hang this daub in the house?
- How does she bother you?
- She makes me angry! Chop it to pieces!
- Don't you dare! He claims that this is the work of Rembrandt.
- Whom?
- Rembrandt.
- Lies.
- Of course it's a lie, but the auctioneers are offering twenty thousand for it.
- Twenty? So sell.
- To sell is to admit that it is true.

Challenge your father to a duel.
- Never!
- But why?
- Firstly, he will kill me, and secondly ...
- And the first is enough.

I am already 19 years old, and I am just a cornet! And no perspective! I was not even allowed to maneuver!
- Manyo-yevry!
- They were not allowed to the maneuvry! The colonel said that he refused to accept reports from Baron Munchausen at all.


- Baroness, how does this Amazon costume suit you! Ramkopf, you are adorable as always! How are you, cornet? I see that it is good!
- Judging by the abundance of compliments, you are again with bad news.


- The man destroyed the family, drove his wife and child out of the house!
- What a child! I am an officer!
- I drove out my wife with an officer!

You have a mistress - to your health! Now everyone has mistresses. But you can't be allowed to marry them. It is immoral!


- But is it a fact?
- No, this is not a fact.
- This is not a fact ?!
- No, this is not a fact. This is much more than a fact. And so it really was.

Being in some nervous overexcitement, the duke suddenly grabbed and signed several petitions for divorce with the words: "Free, all free!"


- So, we finished badly. Duel! Mr. Ramkopf, you are an old friend of our family, you do a lot for us. Do one more.
- Neither, nor, nor, nor, nor!
- Be my second.
- Never!
- But why?
- First, he will kill the second too ...
- Yes.
- Murderer!

Your Highness, is it all about our left wing? It is unreliable.
- The center worries me too ...


- Maybe, in this case, you should still raise the top from above and lower the bottom from the bottom?
- Let's do it! Two rows of darts on the left, two on the right. The whole solution is in the waist! Where do you think we are going to make the waist? At chest level!
- Brilliant! Brilliant, like everything is true.
- It is at chest level. Sixty six. I will not allow the waist line to drop to the hips. One hundred fifty five. After all, we are the center of Europe, I will not allow any Spaniards there to dictate terms to us. If you want a cut-off sleeve, please. If you want a pleated skirt with darts, I accept that too. But I won't let the waistline go down!


- Rise at 6 o'clock in the morning !!!
- Not punishable.
- from 8 to 10 - feat.
- what does it mean?
- This means that from 8 to 10 in the morning he has a feat planned. Well, what do you say, mister burgomaster, about a man who goes out every day to a heroic deed, as if to a service?
- I myself serve, madam. Every day at nine in the morning I have to go to my magistrate. I will not say that this is a feat, but in general there is something heroic in it.

Lord, why did England not please him ?!

War is not poker! It cannot be announced whenever you like! War is ... war!

Do we leave the breasts in place?
- No, we take it with us!

Where is my military uniform?
- Please, Your Highness, please!
- What about ?? Me - in this? Single-breasted? What are you? Don't you know that no one is fighting in a single-breasted one now? Ugliness! The war is on the doorstep, and we are not ready! No, we are not ready for war!


- Gentlemen, officers, let's check our watches! How many now?
- 15:00!
- 15 and a quarter!
- Or rather?
- Plus 22!

Baron Karl Friedrich Jerome von Munchausen! You have been ordered to be arrested. In case of resistance, force is ordered.
- To whom?
- What to whom?
- Who to use force in case of resistance, you or me?
- Did not understand…
- So, maybe send a messenger to ask again?
- It's impossible.
- Right. We will both carry out the order. Is it logical?
- Uh-uh ...
- And this is good. One minute. This means that it is done something like this. Aside, gentlemen! You will leave altogether. And, of course, dancing! The inn after all.

It's all right, Your Highness. Baron Munchausen will be arrested any minute. He asked me to tell them not to disperse.

Once he went into the forest without a gun.
- In what sense, without a gun?
- Well, in the sense of the bear.
- Not a bear, but a mammoth. But he shot it with a gun.
- From a gun?
- Yes. Cherry pits.
- Cherries!
- He shot, firstly, not with cherries, but currants. When they flew over his house.
- The Bears?
- Well, not mammoths!
- And why, then, did all this grow in the deer?


- What is this?
- Arrested.
- Why an orchestra?
- Your Highness, at first the celebrations were planned. Then the arrests. Then they decided to combine.
- And where is our guard? Where are the guards?
- Obviously, bypasses from the flanks.
- Whom?
- Everyone!

Your Highness, don't go against your conscience. I know you are a noble man, and in your heart is also against England.
- Yes, in my heart I am against it. Yes, I don't like her. But I sit and keep quiet!
- No, it's not a duke, it's a rag!
- Madam, what do you want from him? England has surrendered!

Why is the war going on? Don't they read the newspapers here?


- I remembered! He really shot a deer! But through the chimney!

Have you forgotten that the divorce proceedings will begin in half an hour?
- It started a long time ago. Since I saw you.

Divorce is disgusting not only because it separates spouses, but also because the man is called free, and the woman is abandoned.
- What is she talking about?

The Baron is hidden.
- And what does he say?
- It is clear that: "scoundrel", he says, "crazy crazy, unfortunate liar" ...
- And what does he want?
- It is clear what: so as not to throw.
- It is logical.

Karl, why is it so late?
- In my opinion, it's too early: not all nonsense has been said yet.


- How so: for 20 years everything was fine, and suddenly such a tragedy.
- Sorry, Mr. Judge, the tragedy lasted 20 years, and only now everything should be fine. It was a difficult 20 years, but I don’t regret it!

There are couples made for love, we were made for divorce.


Since childhood, Jacobina did not love me and, to her credit, she managed to evoke reciprocal feelings in me. In the church, when the priest asked whether we want to become husband and wife, we unanimously answered: "No!" - and we were immediately married. After the wedding, my wife and I left for Honeymoon: I am to Turkey, she is to Switzerland. And for three years they lived there in love and harmony.

I am protesting! You are insulting my client!
- The truth can not offend, dear lawyer!

A minute is enough to fall in love. Sometimes you have to live together for 20 years to get a divorce.


At one time, Socrates once told me: “Marry without fail. If you get a good wife, you will become happy, a bad wife, you will become a philosopher. " I don’t know which is better.

And long live the divorce, gentlemen! It removes the lies that I hate so much!

Give in, Lord! You have already endured so much ... well, be patient a little more!


Thomas, are you happy with our May 32nd?
- Actually, not very much, Mr. Baron. The first of June I get paid my salary.

Are you looking forward to a new day?
- It depends on what falls. If it's Sunday, then it's a shame. And if it's Monday, why do we need two Mondays?

Lord, why didn't you marry Jeanne d'Arc? She agreed.

But I told the truth!
- Yes, to hell with her, with the truth! Sometimes you have to lie. You see, lie! Lord, I have to explain such obvious things to Baron Munchausen!

May 32, 33rd, and so on ...
- Well, that's nice! And don't be so tragic, my dear. Look at this with your inherent humor ... With humor! .. In the end, Galileo also renounced it.
- That is why I have always loved Giordano Bruno more ...
- In the end, I have always respected your choice: a free shoulder line ...
- So what is our June today?
- First.
“Don't complicate things, Baron. Secretly, you can believe.
“I don’t know how to do it in secret. I can only openly.
Since nobody needs an extra day of spring, let's forget about it. It's hard to live on a day like this, but easy to die.
I was not afraid to sound funny. Not everyone can afford it.
- What if you are not afraid and ...
- Eliminate! Or ... bring it closer?
- Connect!


We will not pour water from Munchausen, gentlemen! There is no need. He is dear to us just like Munchausen ... like Karl Friedrich Jerome ... and whether his horse drinks or does not - this does not bother us.
I'm scared to remember. I dreamed of a duel with my father. I wanted to kill him ... We all killed him ... Murderers !!!
- How much of carnations?
- Two thalers!
- How is it two thalers? They are sluggish!
- Sluggish. Ha ha ha! Our baron, while he was alive, was also cheaply valued. And he wilted - he became dear to everyone!


- In Germany, having the surname Müller is like not having any.
- All kidding ...
- I quit a long time ago. Doctors forbid.
- Since when did you start going to doctors?
- Immediately after death.

And they say that humor is useful. The joke, they say, prolongs life.
- Not everyone. The one who laughs prolongs, and the one who jokes shortens.

Good boy?
- 12 kilograms.
- Running?
- Why? Walks.
- Chatting?
- Silence.
- Smart boy, he will go far.

My funeral alone gave me more money than my entire previous life.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Do you want to ruin our holiday?
- Today at midnight at the monument.
- At the monument. To whom?
- To me.
“You’re dead!
- Died!

For the fourth time we are driving this hog past His Highness, and His Highness, excuse the expression, smears and smears! Would you like to drive it out for the fifth time?
- No! Inconvenient. He already remembered it in person.
- Who will win?
- Duke of the hog!


Do what you want, but so that in half an hour it will be dry, light and bearish in the forest!

By the way, Baron, I wanted to ask you for a long time: where did you get the bears?
“I don’t remember. In my opinion, in the forest.
- No, this is impossible. They have not been found with us for a long time.

So, gentlemen, I have invited you to tell you the most unpleasant news. Damn it, that's a great start line. I'll have to suggest it to someone.

These are not my adventures, this is not my life. She's slicked, combed, powdered and castrated!
- Ordinary editorial revision.
- Dear Jacobina, you know me: when they cut me, I endure, but when they supplement it, it becomes intolerable.

And you have changed a lot during this time, mister burgomaster.
- And you didn’t do it in vain.


Frau Martha, we are in trouble: the Baron has risen! There will be trouble!
I hate it! Everything! Duel! Shoot here! Through the scarf!

I'm on duty. If they decide that you are Munchausen, I will fall on your chest. If they decide that you are Mueller, I will put you in jail. That's all I can do for you.

Lord, do you really need to kill a person to understand that he is alive ?!


And my advice to you: do not rush to become the widow of Munchausen. This seat is still occupied.
- You are facing a prison.
- Wonderful place! Here next to me Ovid, Cervantes ... We will knock.

Do you really think that he will fly?
- To the moon, of course!
- She's not even visible.
- When it is seen, the fool will fly. The Baron likes it to be harder.

Well, let's confess.
- I've been doing this all my life. But nobody believed me.
- Please, ease your soul.
“It happened by itself, pastor. I had a friend - he betrayed me. I had a loved one - she renounced. I'm flying light.
- Well, say something goodbye!
- What to say?
- Think. There is always something important for such a minute.
- I ... I will wait for you!
- Not that!
- I ... I love you very much!
- Not that!
- I will be true to you!
- Do not!
- They put in raw gunpowder, Karl! They want to stop you!
- Here.


The pharmacist's daughter - she is the pharmacist's daughter!

Now I will fly away, and we are unlikely to see each other. But when I return, next time, you will be gone. The fact is that time in heaven and on earth flies differently: there - moments, here - centuries.
Lord, how tired of dying!

Where is the commander?
- He's in command!

Join me, mister baron. Join us.
But understand, Baron Munchausen is famous not because he flew or did not fly, but because he does not lie.


- When I return, let it be six o'clock.
- Six in the evening or six in the morning?
- Six days!


I understand what your trouble is: you are too serious. A clever face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen. All the stupid things on earth are done with this expression. Smile, gentlemen. Smile!

It was necessary to choose one of two things: to die or somehow be saved.
- Well, what did you choose?
- Guess.

And my hand, thank God, is, oh, strong, but my head, thank God, is thinking!

Are you saying that a person can lift themselves by their hair?
- Necessarily. A thinking person is simply obliged to do this from time to time.

How, cherry tree?
- Wood? On the head of a deer? Better say - cherry orchard!
- If a garden grew, I would say a garden. And since the tree has grown, why should I lie?

Ouch!
- Of course, we all know how to pull. The handle is hanging, why not pull it?

Mr. Baron has been expecting you for a long time. He has been working in the office since the morning.
- He locked himself up and asks: "Thomas, he says, has Mr. Pastor arrived yet?"
- I say: "Not yet."
- He says "Well, thank God."

Monsieur Baron once went hunting in the forest.
- The bear rushed at him. And since Mr. Baron was without a gun ...
- Why was he without a gun?
- I tell you, he went hunting.

Thomas, look, are they flying? A?
- They are flying, Mr. Baron! Now they will fly over our house.
- We will beat through the chimney.

How is it?
- I got it. Duck. With apples. She seems to be well done.
- She seems to have doused herself with sauce on the way.
- Yes? How sweet of her.

So. Unfortunately, Baron, there is nothing I can do to help you.
- Why?
- Because with a living wife you cannot marry again.
- You say live?
- When alive.
- Are you suggesting to kill her?
- God! God forbid you, baron!

Maybe you shouldn't have started with Sophocles? And with the duck this time you too clever.
- I wanted to cheer him up. They told me: an intelligent person.
- Well, you never know what they talk about a person.

Mr. Ramkopf, you are a friend of our family, you do a lot for us. Take it one more step!
- Everything in my power.
- Challenge your father to a duel.
- Never.
- But why?
- Well, first of all, he will kill me. And secondly...
- The first is enough. Calm down, Feo.

Judging by the abundance of compliments, you returned with bad news?

No reason? The man destroyed the family, drove his wife and child out into the street.
- What kind of child? I'm an officer!
- I drove my wife out with an officer.

But is this a fact?
- No, this is not a fact.
- This is not a fact?
- No, this is not a fact. This is much more than a fact. And so it really was.

The fact is that our adored duke in recent times was in some confrontation with our beloved duchess.
- So what?
- Ouch.
“Terrible boy. All in the father.
- Oh well. They say she caught him with some maid of honor. It was terrible! It was...
- So what?
- Being in some nervous overexcitement, the duke suddenly grabbed and signed several petitions for divorce with the words "Free! All free!"

The whole solution is in the waist. Where do you think we are going to make the waist?
- At chest level.
- Brilliant!
- Brilliant, like everything true.

I will not allow the waist line to drop to the hips. 155.
- After all, we are the center of Europe.
“I will not allow any Spaniards there to dictate terms to us.
- If you want a cut-off sleeve, please.
- Want a pleated skirt with darts? I accept this too.
“But I won’t let the waist line go down.

- "The daily routine of Baron Karl Friedrich Jerome von Munchausen on May 30, 1779."
- Curious.
- Quite.
- "Wake up at 6 o'clock in the morning."
- Not punishable.

- "From 8 am to 10 am - feat."
- What does it mean?
- This means that from 8 to 10 in the morning he has a feat planned. Well? What do you say, burgomaster, about a person who goes out every day to a heroic deed, as if to a service?

I myself serve, madam. Every day at nine in the morning I have to go to my magistrate. I will not say that this is a feat. But in general there is something heroic in this.

Gentlemen, we have reached a very interesting point. "16:00 - war with England."
- With whom?!
- With England.
- Lord, why did England not please him?
- Where is she? Where, I ask you?
- Who?
- England.

Recall all those dismissed to the reserve. Cancel vacations. Build a guard in the central square. Dress code - summer dress. Blue uniforms with gold trim. Sewn-in sleeve. Wide lapels. The waist is 10 cm lower than in peacetime.
- Below?
- That is, higher.
- And the chest?
- What, chest?
- Leave it in place?
- No, we take it with us.

Is it really impossible to arrest one single person? The horse is tired!
“It's all right, Your Highness. Baron Munchausen will be arrested any minute. He asked me to tell them not to disperse.

What is this?
- Arrested.
- Why an orchestra?
- Your Highness, at first there were celebrations and then arrests. Then they decided to combine.

Where are our guards? Where are the guards?
- Obviously, bypasses from the flanks.
- Whom?
- Everyone.

Hand over the sword.
“Your Highness, do not go against your conscience.
- I know that you are a noble man, and in your heart you are also against England.
- Yes, in my heart I am against it. Yes, I don't like her ... Yes.
- But I sit and keep quiet. War is ...

Why is the war going on? Don't they read newspapers here?

My husband, gentlemen, dangerous man! 20 years of my life was given to him! For 20 years I pacified him. I kept him in line family life... And thus she saved life. Your life. The life of society is from him! ...

It’s not scary that I’m abandoned. Not scary. It's scary that he is free!

What is she talking about?
- The Baron is hiding.
- And what does he say?
- It is clear that, you scoundrel, he says. Crazy crazy, unfortunate liar.
- And what does he want?
- It is clear what, so as not to throw.
- It is logical.

There are couples made for love. We were made for divorce.

Since childhood, Jacobina did not love me and, to her credit, she managed to evoke reciprocal feelings in me.
In the church, when the priest asked if we wanted to become husband and wife, we unanimously answered “no,” and we were immediately married.
After the wedding, my wife and I left for a honeymoon trip.
I went to Turkey, she went to Switzerland, and for three years I lived there in love and harmony.

Great God, make it all right.
Help us, Lord. We love each other so much.
And don't be mad at Karl, god.
He is impudent, he is often ready to argue with you, but after all, God, you are older, you are wiser.
You have to give in. Give in, Lord.
You've endured so much already. Well be patient a little more.

Baron, you reasonable person... I have always treated you with sympathy.
I respected your way of thinking. Free shoulder line, tapered pantaloons.

We have too many of them, these obstacles. They are beyond my strength. Lord, why didn't you marry Jeanne D "Ark? She agreed.
- I knew I would meet Martha.

And may the monument that we erect in his honor become a symbol ...
- The symbol is sluggish.
- Well, let it become not only a symbol.
- Better.
- Let it become not only a symbol of the city's selfless love for its citizen ...
- Better to say: "To your great son."
- Better. Let him become a source of courage, courage, a source of life-giving optimism that will never stop beating ...
- Better to say to flow.
- But the spring, it beats.
- Sometimes it hits, and sometimes it flows. In this case, it is better for it to flow.

What time is it, Thomas?
- The clock struck 3, the baron fell at 2, so it was only an hour.
- What are you talking about? Add 3 plus 2.
- It used to be necessary to add, but now it is better to subtract.

The only pity is that one half. And what if you are not afraid and ...
- To liquidate.
- Or bring it closer?
- Connect.
- Here ... It's even funnier.
- Much. And immediately water will pour.
- Where are we going to pour water from? Where is it from?
- We will not pour water from Munchausen, gentlemen. There is no need.
- He is dear to us just like Munchausen. Like Karl Friedrich Jerome.
- And whether his horse drinks or does not drink - this does not bother us.
- Not in the desert.

Are you all joking?
- I quit a long time ago. Doctors forbid.
- Since when did you start going to doctors?
- Immediately after death.

Good boy?
- 12 kilograms.
- Running?
- Why? Walks.
- Chatting?
- Silence.
- Smart boy, will go far.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Do you want to ruin our holiday?

Let's talk another time.
- Good. Today at midnight at the monument.
- At the monument. To whom?
- To me.

Mr. Burgomaster! His Highness the Duke missed again! For the fourth time we are driving this hog past his highness, and his highness, excuse the expression, smears and smears. Would you like to drive it out for the fifth time?
- No. Inconvenient. He already remembered it in person.
- Who will win?
- The duke of the hog.

No, well, you got it, huh? Have sunk! We steal bears from gypsies! But they were, were ... Literally the homeland of bears.

Martha left me.
- She's out of her mind. Ungrateful, rubbish. Cook. She thinks it's easy to be the mistress of such a person. Bastard. We will return it.
- It's not scary. Really. We will persuade her.

No, you don't know her very well. To get her back, you have to bring yourself back.

Here are the facts: an extract from the church book, a certificate of the death of the baron, a receipt for the coffin.
It would seem that there is more than enough evidence.
However, the defendant continues to persist!
Taking advantage of his outward resemblance to the late baron, insidiously mastering his gait, voice and even fingerprints, the defendant naively hopes to deceive us and make us recognize our dear baron, whom we solemnly celebrated three years ago!

Frau Marta, Frau Marta! Frau Martha, we are in trouble, the Baron has risen.
There will be trouble, Frau Marta.

If a person wants to tell the truth, he has the right to do so. I just wonder what truth do you mean?
- The truth is one!
- There is no truth at all.
- Yes. Truth is what is considered true at the moment.

God! Do you really need to kill a person to understand that he is alive!
- Well said. Highly. But we have no way out.

Mr. Pastor, Mr. Pastor!
- Well?
- Ask to let me through!
“I’ve packed something for him for the trip.” Still, the path is not close.
- What do you really think that he will fly?
- To the moon? Of course.
- She's not even visible.
- When it is seen, the fool will fly. The Baron likes it to be harder.

Amazing.
- What, your highness?
- I say, it's amazing how our people are in harmony with nature.
- O! I will remember that.
- You write it down.

Well, will there be nothing so unnecessary?
- What are you, Your Highness. Everything will go according to plan. After the overture - interrogations. Later - the last word defendant, volleys, general fun, dancing.

Why can't you hear it? I don't understand what they are talking about.
- Your Highness, the defendant thanks the city authorities and, as it were, is joking with his beloved.
- Good. Especially the lace collar and front dart suits him very well. And in general, he looks like the deceased.

Well ... Let's confess.
- I did it all my life, but nobody believed me.
- Please, ease your soul.
“It happened by itself, pastor. I had a friend. He betrayed me. I had a loved one. She renounced. I'm flying light.

Rough. How we all the same love ... We would always ... This is not the main thing.

They put in raw gunpowder, Karl! They want to stop you, Karl!
- Here. Thanks. Thank you Martha. Let them envy! Who else has a woman like that?

My God. Daughter of a pharmacist - she is the daughter of a pharmacist.

Where is the commander?
- He is in command.

I don’t understand anything anymore. So is it he or not?
- Can't you wait 2 minutes?

Well, here's what, probably, we were all wrong about something ...
- Gentlemen, by the decision of the Hanoverian court in connection with the successful completion of the experiment ...
- Since everything has turned out that way, so let it go as it goes ...
- It is ordered, by the Highest command it is ordered to consider the defendant Baron Munchausen!
- And here some began to allow themselves to sew on patch pockets and narrow the sleeve - we will not allow this.

Heartiest congratulations!
- But with what ?!
- With a successful return from the moon!
- Not true! This time I was not on the moon!
- How was it not, when there is already a decision, what was it?

Join discreetly ...
- Join us, Baron. Join us.

Yes, understand!
Baron Munchausen is famous not because he flew or did not fly.
And those that do not lie.

Thomas, go home! Cook dinner! When I get back, let it be 6 o'clock!
- 6 pm or 6 am?
- 6 days.

I understand what your trouble is. You are too serious. A clever face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen. All the stupid things on earth are done with this expression. Smile, gentlemen, smile.

We were sincere in our delusions!

Are you looking forward to a new day?
- It depends on what falls. If it's Sunday, then it's a shame. And if it's Monday, why do we need two Mondays?

In Germany, having the surname Müller is like not having any.
- All kidding ...
- I quit a long time ago. Doctors forbid.
- Since when did you start going to doctors?
- Immediately after death.

What are you screaming at night?
- Is it night?
- Night.
- And how long?
- Since the evening.

We will not pour water from Munchausen, gentlemen! There is no need. He is dear to us just like Munchausen ... like Karl Friedrich Jerome ... and whether his horse drinks or does not - this does not bother us.

Are you saying that a person can lift themselves by their hair?
- Necessarily! Every sane person is simply obliged to do this from time to time!

You have a mistress - to your health! Now everyone has mistresses. But you can't be allowed to marry them. It is immoral!

Explain to the court - why was everything good for 20 years, and suddenly such a tragedy?
- Sorry, Mr. Judge, the tragedy lasted twenty years and only now everything should be fine!

They say that humor is useful, a joke, they say, it prolongs life.
- Not everyone. For those who laugh, it is prolonged. The one who jokes - shortens. So that's it.

War is not poker! It cannot be announced whenever you like! War is ... war!

And long live the divorce, gentlemen! It removes the lies that I hate so much!

Let us be frank: I am also not satisfied with many things, I also disagree with many things! Yes Yes! In particular, I am not happy with our calendar - and not the first year. But I do not allow myself to break down!

I hate it! Everything! Duel! Shoot here! Through the scarf!

A minute is enough to fall in love. Sometimes you have to live together for 20 years to get a divorce.

Baron Munchausen is famous not because he flew to the moon. He is famous for never lying.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Do you want to ruin our holiday?

But I told the truth!
- Yes, to hell with her, with the truth! Sometimes you have to lie. You see, lie! Lord, I have to explain such obvious things to Baron Munchausen!

I am in the service ... If the court decides that you are a baron, I will fall on your chest. If the court decides that you are Mueller, I will put you in jail.

Goodbye gentlemen! Now I will fly away and we are unlikely to see each other. But the next time I return ... You will be gone. The fact is that time in heaven and on earth does not fly the same way. There - moments, here - centuries. Everything is relative.

You are facing jail.
- Wonderful place! Here next to me Ovid, Cervantes ... We will knock.

Pages: 1

All quotes and catch phrases from the movie "The Same Munchausen"

• It was necessary to choose one of two things: to die or somehow be saved.
• Well, what have you chosen?
• Guess.

• And my hand, thank God, is, oh, strong, but my head, thank God, is thinking!

• Are you saying that a person can lift themselves by their hair?
• Necessarily. A thinking person is simply obliged to do this from time to time.

• How, cherry tree?
• Wood? On the head of a deer? Better say - cherry orchard!
• If a garden grew, I would say a garden. And since the tree has grown, why should I lie?

• Of course, we all know how to pull. The handle is hanging, why not pull it?

• Mr. Baron has been expecting you for a long time. He has been working in the office since the morning.
  He locked himself up and asks: "Thomas, he says, has Mr. Pastor arrived yet?"
  I say, "Not yet." He says "Well, thank God." Very much waiting for you.

• Monsieur Baron once went hunting in the forest.
  The bear rushed at him. And since Mr. Baron was without a gun ...
• Why was he without a gun?
• I tell you, he went hunting.

• Thomas, look, are they flying? A?
• They are flying, Mr. Baron! Now they will fly over our house.
• We will beat through the chimney.

• How is it?
• She seems to have doused herself with sauce on the way.
• Yes? How sweet of her.

• So. Unfortunately, Baron, there is nothing I can do to help you.
• Why?
• Because with a living wife you cannot marry again.
• You say live?
• When alive.
• Are you offering to kill her?
• God! God forbid you, baron!

• Maybe you shouldn't have started with Sophocles? And with the duck this time you too clever.
• I wanted to cheer him up. They told me: an intelligent person.
• Well, you never know what they talk about a person.

• Mr. Ramkopf, you are a friend of our family, you do a lot for us. Take it one more step!
• Everything in my power.
• Challenge your father to a duel.
• Never.
• But why?
• Well, first of all, he will kill me. And secondly...
• The first is enough. Calm down, Feo.

• Judging by the abundance of compliments, you returned with bad news?

• No reason? The man destroyed the family, drove his wife and child out into the street.
• What kind of child? I'm an officer!
• I drove my wife out with an officer.

• But is this a fact?
• No, this is not a fact.
• Is this not a fact?
• No, this is not a fact. This is much more than a fact. And so it really was.

• The fact is that our adored duke has recently been in some confrontation with our adored duchess.
• So what?
• Terrible boy. All in the father.
• Oh well. They say she caught him with some maid of honor. It was terrible! It was...
• So what?
• Being in some nervous overexcitement, the duke suddenly grabbed and signed
  several petitions for divorce with the words "Free! All free!"

• The whole solution is in the waist. Where do you think we are going to make the waist?
  At chest level.
• Brilliant!
• Brilliant, like everything true.

• I will not allow the waist line to drop to the hips. 155.
  After all, we are the center of Europe.
  I will not allow any Spaniards there to dictate terms to us.
  If you want a cut-off sleeve, please.
  Want a pleated skirt with darts? I accept this too.
  But I will not let the waist line drop.

• "The daily routine of Baron Karl Friedrich Jerome von Munchausen
  on May 30, 1779. "
• Curious.
• Quite.
• "Wake up at 6 o'clock in the morning."
• It is not punishable.

• "From 8 am to 10 am - feat."
• What does it mean?
• This means that from 8 to 10 in the morning he has a feat planned. Well? What do you say, burgomaster, about a person who goes out every day to a heroic deed, as if to a service?
• I myself serve, madam.
  Every day at nine in the morning I have to go to my magistrate.
  I will not say that this is a feat. But in general there is something heroic in this.

• Gentlemen, we have reached a very interesting point. "16:00 - war with England."
• With whom?!
• With England.
• Lord, why did England not please him?
• Where is she? Where, I ask you?
• England.

• Recall all those dismissed to the reserve. Cancel vacations.
  Build a guard in the central square. Dress code - summer dress.
  Blue uniforms with gold trim. Sewn-in sleeve. Wide lapels.
  The waist is 10 cm lower than in peacetime.
• Below?
• That is, higher.
• And the chest?
• What, chest?
• Do we leave it in place?
• No, we take it with us.

• Is it really impossible to arrest one single person? The horse is tired!
• It's all right, Your Highness. Baron Munchausen will be arrested any minute. He asked me to tell them not to disperse.

• What is this?
• Arrested.
• Why an orchestra?
• Your Highness, first there were celebrations and then arrests. Then they decided to combine.

• Where are our guards? Where are the guards?
• Obviously outflanking.
• Whom?
• Everyone.

• Hand over the sword.
• Your Highness, do not go against your conscience.
  I know you are a noble man, and in your heart is also against England.
• Yes, in my heart against it. Yes, I don't like her ... Yes.
  But I sit and keep quiet. War is ...

• Why is the war going on? Don't they read newspapers here?

• My husband, gentlemen, is a dangerous man! 20 years of my life was given to him!
  For 20 years I pacified him. I kept him within the boundaries of family life.
  And thus she saved life. Your life. The life of society is from him! ...
  It’s not scary that I’m abandoned. Not scary.
  It's scary that he is free!

• What is she talking about?
• The Baron is hidden.
• And what does he say?
• It is clear what the scoundrel says. Crazy crazy, unfortunate liar.
• And what does he want?
• It is clear what, so as not to throw.
• It is logical.

• There are couples made for love. We were made for divorce.

• Since childhood, Jacobina did not love me and, to her credit, she managed to evoke reciprocal feelings in me.
  In the church, when the priest asked if we wanted to become husband and wife, we unanimously answered “no,” and we were immediately married.
  After the wedding, my wife and I left for a honeymoon trip.
  I went to Turkey, she went to Switzerland, and for three years I lived there in love and harmony.

• Great God, make it all right.
  Help us, Lord. We love each other so much.
  And don't be mad at Karl, god.
  He is impudent, he is often ready to argue with you, but after all, God, you are older, you are wiser.
  You have to give in. Give in, Lord.
  You've endured so much already. Well be patient a little more.

• Baron, you are a reasonable person. I have always treated you with sympathy.
  I respected your way of thinking. Free shoulder line, tapered pantaloons.

• And may the monument that we erect in his honor become a symbol ...
• Well, let it become more than just a symbol.
• Better.
• Let it become not only a symbol of the city's selfless love for its citizen ...
• Better to say, "To your great son."
• Better. Let him become a source of courage, courage, a source of life-giving optimism that will never stop beating ...
• Better to say, flow.
• But the spring, it beats.
• Sometimes it hits, and sometimes it flows. In this case, it is better for it to flow.

• What time is it, Thomas?
• The clock struck 3, the baron fell at 2, so it was only an hour.
• What are you talking about? Add 3 plus 2.
• It used to be necessary to add, but now it is better to subtract.

• The only pity is that one half. And what if you are not afraid and ...
• Eliminate.
• Or bring it closer?
• Connect.
  Here ... It's even funnier.
• Much. And immediately water will pour.
• Where are we going to pour water from? Where is it from?
• We will not pour water from Munchausen, gentlemen. There is no need.
  He is just as dear to us as Munchausen. Like Karl Friedrich Jerome.
  And whether his horse drinks or does not drink - this does not bother us.
• Not in the desert.

• Are you all joking?
• I gave up a long time ago. Doctors forbid.
• Since when did you start going to doctors?
• Immediately after death.

• Good boy?
• 12 kilograms.
• Running?
• What for? Walks.
• Chatting?
• Is silent.
• Smart boy, will go far.

• Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Do you want to ruin our holiday?

• Let's talk another time.
• Good. Today at midnight at the monument.
• At the monument. To whom?

• Mr. Burgomaster! His Highness the Duke missed again!
  For the fourth time we are driving this hog past his highness, and his highness, excuse the expression, smears and smears. Would you like to drive it out for the fifth time?
• No. Inconvenient. He already remembered it in person.
• Who will win?
• Duke of the hog.

• No, well, you got it, huh? Have sunk! We steal bears from gypsies!
  But they were, were ... Literally the homeland of bears.

• Martha left me.
• She's out of her mind. Ungrateful, rubbish. Cook. She thinks it's easy to be the mistress of such a person.
  Bastard. We will return it.
• It's not scary. Really. We will persuade her.

• Here are the facts: an extract from the church book, a certificate of the death of the baron, a receipt for the coffin.
  It would seem that there is more than enough evidence.
  However, the defendant continues to persist!
  Taking advantage of his outward resemblance to the late baron, insidiously mastering his gait, voice and even fingerprints, the defendant naively hopes to deceive us and make us recognize our dear baron, whom we solemnly celebrated three years ago!

• Frau Marta, Frau Marta! Frau Martha, we are in trouble, the Baron has risen.
  There will be trouble, Frau Marta.

• If a person wants to tell the truth, he has the right to do so.
  I just wonder what truth do you mean?
• The truth is one!
• There is no truth at all.
  Yes. Truth is what is considered true at the moment.

• God! Do you really need to kill a person to understand that he is alive!
• Well said. Highly. But we have no way out.

• Mr. Pastor, Mr. Pastor!
• Ask to be admitted!
• I put together something for him for the trip. Still, the path is not close.
• Do you really think that he will fly?
• To the moon? Of course.
• She's not even visible.
• When it is seen, the fool will fly. The Baron likes it to be harder.

• Amazing.
• What, your highness?
• I say, it's amazing how our people are in harmony with nature.
• O! I will remember that.
• You write it down.

• Well, will there be nothing so unnecessary?
• What are you, your highness. Everything will go according to plan. After the overture - interrogations.
  Then - the last word of the defendant, volleys, general fun, dancing.

• Why can't you hear it? I don't understand what they are talking about.
• Your Highness, the defendant thanks the city authorities and, as it were, is joking with his beloved.
• Good. Especially the lace collar and front dart suits him very well.
  And in general, he looks like the deceased.

• Well ... Let's confess.
• I've done this all my life, but no one believed me.
• Please, ease your soul.
• It just happened, Pastor. I had a friend. He betrayed me.
  I had a loved one. She renounced. I'm flying light.
• Rough. How we all the same love ... We would always ... This is not the main thing.

• They put in raw gunpowder, Karl! They want to stop you, Karl!

• Where is the commander?
• In command.

• I don’t understand anything anymore. So is it he or not?
• Can't wait 2 minutes?

• Well, here's what, probably, we were all wrong about something ...
• Gentlemen, by the decision of the Hanoverian court in connection with the successful completion of the experiment ...
• Since everything has turned out that way, let it go as it goes ...
• It has been ordered, by the Highest command it has been ordered to consider the defendant Baron Munchausen!
• And here some began to allow themselves to sew on patch pockets and narrow the sleeves - we will not allow this.

• Heartiest congratulations!
• But with what ?!
• With a successful return from the Moon!
• Not true! This time I was not on the moon!
• How was it not, when there is already a decision, what was it?

• Join discreetly ...
• Join us, Baron. Join us.

• Yes, understand!
  Baron Munchausen is famous not because he flew or did not fly.
  And those that do not lie.

• Thomas, go home! Cook dinner! When I get back, let it be 6 o'clock!
• 6pm or 6am?
• 6 days.

• I understand what your trouble is. You are too serious.
  A clever face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen.
  All the stupid things on earth are done with this expression.
  Smile, gentlemen, smile.

Even if you have not watched the movie "The Same Munchausen", quotes from it are worth reading.

It cannot be that one intelligent person does not understand another ...

You are a great man, Baron Munchausen, but all the same, dust falls on you.

Every husband, returning home after a week's absence, tries to deceive his wife, but not everyone will think of it to claim that he was on the moon!

The fact is that time in heaven and on earth does not fly the same way. There - moments, here - centuries ... Everything is relative. However, it takes a long time to explain.

Who signed it? I signed? .. Yes, I signed ...

A minute is enough to fall in love. Sometimes you have to live together for twenty years to get a divorce.

We were sincere in our delusions!

Are you saying that a person can lift themselves by their hair?
- Necessarily! A thinking person is simply obliged to do this from time to time.

In Germany, having the surname Müller is like not having any.

Mr. Baron has already asked about you three times: "You have not come, says Mr. Pastor?" No, I say, I didn't come ... "Well, thank God," he says. Very much waiting for you ...

Where is the commander?
- He's in command!

Where is your wife?
“She ran away from me two years ago.
“To tell you the truth, I would have done that too.
- That's why I'm not marrying you ...

After the wedding, we immediately went on a honeymoon trip. I am in Turkey, my wife is in Switzerland, and I lived there for three years in love and harmony.

Divorce is disgusting not only because it separates spouses, but also because the man is called free, and the woman is abandoned.

They say that humor is useful, a joke, they say, prolongs life.
- Not everyone. For those who laugh, it is prolonged. The one who jokes - shortens.

Is it night?
- Night.
- And how long?
- Since the evening.

He shot not cherries, but currants when they flew over his house.
- The Bears?
- Well, not mammoths.

He left his wife and child!
- I am not a child, I am an officer!
- I left my wife with an officer!

Is it really necessary to kill a person in order to understand that he is alive?

To me? Single-breasted uniform? Do you know that no one fights in a single-breasted one anymore? We are not ready for war!

But this is a fact!
- No, this is not a fact.
- This is not a fact?
- No, this is not a fact. This is much more than a fact. And so it really was.

The clock struck 2, the baron fired 3 times, so it was 5 o'clock!

It's hard to live on a day like this, but easy to die.

They told me: an intelligent person!
- Well, you never know what they say about a person ...

And when the bear rushed at him, Mister Baron grabbed him by the front paws and held him until he died.
- And from what did he die?
- From hunger. The bear, as you know, eats by sucking its paw, and since the baron has deprived him of this opportunity ...
- And what do you believe in all this?
- Of course. You yourself saw how thin he is.
- Who?
- Bear.
- What bear?
- Which you saw.

Challenge your father to a duel.
- Never!
- But why?
- Firstly, he will kill me, and secondly ...
- And the first is enough.

Judging by the abundance of compliments, you are again with bad news.

We have forgotten how to do little stupid things. We stopped climbing out the window to our beloved women ...

Baron Munchausen is famous not because he flew to the moon. He is famous for never lying.

Love is an axiom that needs to be constantly proven.

I understand what your trouble is: you are too serious! A clever face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen. All the stupid things on earth are done with this expression. Smile, gentlemen! Smile!